Okie, I finally wanted to do something about my room after years of wheedling and whinning. I need to clear my room. For someone who is always reminsicing about the past, this is a real pain. Wanted something to remain in the past to remind myself of the great things I have done and I can do it. I can perform and repeat the miracles again.
I just cant let go of it and seems my life is in the room. But at the same time it is suffocating as it is here to remind it I can do it and I can do it if I want to. I want to do something.
Reasons etc kept me from throwing things off. My parents who are zen-like people, absolutely hated it. They cannot comprehend why a black sheep has appeared in the family. Unkempt, untidy and hoarding things.
Seems like there is a systematic way of keeping things but there are forever not enough space for me.
I, on the other hand, is sort of like a historian in the family. Or so, I like to think myself as. I just couldnt get my hands off those of my possessions. I simply had to have them in my hands or at least in my room. They are the bits and pieces of triggers to the memories that I loved to keep.
Now I got to get rid of them. It is hard. But it has to be done. Otherwise, I am like kept in the past and cannot move on.
I must move on.
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