Writing novels

I once harvested a great dream to become a novelist even though my English is pretty broken. But what the hell, I can always write in Chinese and translate it. However, the dream died as I was busy preparing to deal with my major blow in my life then, I had flunked my As.
Dreams need to be built in Utopian kind of environment but the harsh reality of life just make me wanna die and arm myself to face it. I don't like to dodge as it is a cowardly behaviour. Even if I grieve secretly, I will not show it.
Now, after watching so many movies adapted from novels especially teenage fantasy romance novels, it sort of rekindle my passion and love for writing novels. I feel the urge and longing to do so. But I have other commitments in life, I was wondering if I can sustain it and continue to write like I used to.
Last time there is no such thing as Laptop or Computer. Everything was handwritten. It was a tedious process but I like the feel of coping myself up in a room and immerse myself into the world of fantasy that I have created. It is like finding a toy to play when you have none physically. Imagination is the toy. How you want to play it depends on your creativity.
Bathrooms become my thinking ground. I would mull over the details, logic and flow of the scenarios behind each scene.
I miss the feeling of being able to express. Not verbally but through the magic of my pen.
Now with the success of novels like Narnia,Spiderwick, Inkheart, Twilight and Harry Potter, I feel the itch to do it. Find my passion.
I think I miss the time when I was schooling. School life was so much fun. I prefer to set my novels during school. So youthful and reckless.
Passion is everything.
But at the same time I fear the loss of realism. I fear I would be eaten alive in reality if I immerse myself into the world.
How to disentangle myself between the two worlds, I have no idea.
How?
I wonder.