reactions n beliefs

Here is a story I have heard and I think it is worth sharing.

Last thursday, A had a minor argument with someone which left him feeling upset and angry. It sort of spoilt his entire day.
He was wondering why should he be so affected by the other person's opinions and language?
Naturally, I could not help him but just listen to him.

I din know the answer to his question until I started my weekend lessons.

The other person pressed A's hot button on his values and beliefs. Because a person's values and beliefs is so close to their heart, something that they hold it tight within themselves.
A becomes offended by the other person because it is something he holds it dearly in his heart. Honesty and integrity and impartiality. By saying he is not acting according to his values and beliefs, he is naturally upset and angry. He finds the accusation untrue and degrading.
Worse still, the other person went straight to A's boss to lodge a complaint. A felt even more angry. An wrongful accusation is not enough, now the other person wants to ruin the impression that A's boss has of A? Wah, another hot button.
A always tries to maintain his image and impression in front of everyone. Treat everyone with respect and care to the best of his abilities. Here is someone who brush away all his efforts and throw it right back at him, leaviing him hurt and offended.

What lessons can be drawn out from here?
1. Have trust in yourself. IF you do it right along with logical thinking and careful consideration, no matter what the other person say, you will be calm and controlled. Outsiders do have eyes to view for themselves and judge for themselves.

2. Respect everyone's values and beliefs. If the other person thought of A that way, all A have to do is to "PAUSE". Do self-reflection on themselves by viewing it from 3rd party's perspective using perceptual position. Dissociate yourself from your position and view the entire fight like a movie. Think if you have done wrong. Then step into the shoes of the accuser and see if there is anything wrong with A's behaviour. If you have done nothing wrong, then remain calm and peaceful. It is not A's issue. It is the other person's issue.

Having a peace of mind, respect others is important. There is no FAILURE only FEEDBACK.