Bridging method

In the TOYF, there is a small part under the Pendulum Plan called "Bridging Techniques".

Of course, there are other literature that contains such terms too.

Bridging, under the TOYF context, is referring to what's being done moments before answering a question that is very important to others. The questioner will assess you based on your response.

Benefits of Bridging is very good as it is a good way to show respect to others, clarify the questions posed so that the reply will be accurate and lastly to buy some time to clear out how to reply.
It is often used to reply somone very emotional at that point in time. The method emphasise on acknowledging the other person;s feeling and thoughts before dealing with the facts.

Well, I thought this is a pretty good plan but I probably would not use it. I was proven wrong last friday.
My colleague sent me some information to go through. I went through them and flag some items to my boss. I brought those documents to my boss. On my way back to my desk, I heard cabinet door being slammed, coming from the direction of my desk. As I sit at one corner, colleagues would not be loitering there unless they are there to find me. I am positive that at that point in time, there was no one else in that corner.

Then I saw the colleague who handed me the information coming out from my cubicle. To be honest, I was shocked. I knew this colleague of mine rummaged my cabinet without my permission as I can hear the noise made by my own cabinet. I was bloody pissed off and angry.

But I have other things to be done. I suppressed my anger and went ahead with other things.
Then as things settled down, I began to think back while pacing up and down in my cubicle. No way was I wrong about that colleague. She came out of my cubicle area.
In order to be factual, I asked the other colleagues to see if they witness anything.
But BOY, I was bloody mad.
Turn out, one of  them saw it and quickly scotted off.

From then I have no doubt about my theory.

Now,left the option of how to bring this up to that guilty colleague of mine.

A little bit on this colleague of mine. She is very sensitive. She hates people misjudging and mistreating her.
She once told me off for putting documents on her desk with her computer on while she was away.
I mean fine. It was actually partly my fault. I should have waited for her to come back before giving her. But c'mon, her desk doesnt even have an IN-tray. She should have switched her computer to desktop while she was away.
She wants others to respect her.\
She even told another sick colleague of mine that she should not be loitering around othe people's cubicle when they are not around.

Now, under such circumstances, can you see why I am bloody mad and pissed off?
She was clearly double standard.
She doesnt respect me at all even though I hold a Higher position than her. (I dun like to compare position but she is the one who always insist she was discriminated against due to position difference).
She doesnt even care of other's security yet she want hers secured.
She is the one who insisted on privacy and etc.
Ridiculous isnt it?

I wasnt that petty kind but security issues are not to be played with or belittle upon.
I knew I had to say this to her. If there are anything important missing from my cabinet, I will be held accounted for.
Geez....

So I forced myself to calm down. I had to force myself with the help of my colleagues. There is no point burning bridges with her. I had to get stuff from her.
Bridges..Ah! bridging......
I tried to recall what I learnt from the bridging techniques.

At first, I questioned her about her prescence in my cubicle.
Then she tried to explain she wants to take the documents. (I find it hard to believe as I asked her before when she need it. She said she need it on monday.)
Fine, I accepted it though my blood continue to simmer.

Then I ask cant she wait for me to get it since I am around.
She said she was in a hurry and she cannot find me. (That's bulls. I was in the same level as her. Cant she search for me?)
Again, my blood continue to bubble.

Finally, I asked the most important question. What did she search at my cubicle?
She said she went through my desk and drawers.
Tah-dda
That's the answer I want.
So I said. Please let me know what kind of things you want. I am in the office. Please do not search around my cubicle. This is not good and it creates unneccessary problems.
I make sure she knows that I am unhappy and do not belittle me as I am younger than her. There are things that age would not be an legitimate excuse for the behaviour.
She replied. I was in a hurry mah. I got a witness. (So what if you have a witness? Where is your approval from the boss or the owner?)

You should have told me that you are going to tell your boss. (Her memory must be failing her. I told my boss in front of her when he came down to look for me. Besides, you are the one who told me you only need it on Monday. Furthermore, your position is lower than mine, I already did my best informing you. Why should I tell you again? You are not my boss.)
Nonetheless, I told her firmly. Do not do it again and caused unnecessary trouble.
Then I left.
By then, my blood reaching boiling point. Bloody idiot! 强词夺理的猪头.

That's not a legitimate answer.
She was no security manager and my boss.
So what if she quoted a witness? Can you still justify why you search your superior's desk?
No wonder it caused some male chauvinistic pigs to come up with things like 女人头发长, 见识短. (Women have long hair but they have no foresight). Not all ladies are like that but

There was a chinese saying dont do anything to others unless you want them to do so to you. (己所不欲,勿施于人.)
Bloody unreasonable.

Then I calmed down with the help of icecream and think through. In my haste, I forgot to acknowledge her emotions, Her motives for doing this so it was half-complete. Thus making my efforts not to burn bridges with her a bit half-done. She only received the "I know what you did and do not do it again" message.

A bit half-baked. But nice effort.

I thought through. I wasnt used to dealing with all these especially confronting the guilty ones. I should improve on my delivery and make sure I send the correct message in the correct format the next time.