Moderation - Gaming

Well, for me after living for so long, this is my take. Everything has to be done in moderation as what the Chinese has spelt out thousands of years ago in "Zhong Yong". Too much of something and too little of something is harmful to the ecology of nature and everything on earth.
For instance, Vitamin B is good for Beri-Beri (If I remember correctly from my Health Education classes). But too much of Vitamin B cause mineral retention and malfunctions in the body.
Another example, people with skin allergy cannot consumed beans. But that is not right because for people especially vegetarians, beans are an important source of minerals and vitamins.
Same theory can be applied to gaming. We have seen so much about the harmful effects with obssession on gaming that it become like an addiction and people has to be sent to rehab centres.
But Gaming can be beneficial as well. It trains your deterxity and muscle memory..

Here is the example on the benefits of gaming. Moderation I believe is the key to ecology in life.

How games make a difference

August 13, 2010 | 2:50:21 am

How video games can improve mental and physical health
By now, everyone has heard the stories. The stories of how video games are detrimental to eyesight, cognitive function and can be blamed for a whole slew of other diseases (remember Nintendinitis)?
While some clinical studies that have formed a link with extensive gaming and health problems, this should not be a surprise. After all, too much of anything would be bad for you. This includes too much exercise, too much TV, and too much work.
What people have not really explored is how games can improve one’s sense of well being, as well as their health.
Well, here are some ways that games have made a difference in peoples’ lives:

1. Games can help improve one’s health
   In June 2010, CBS reported that some hospitals were using Wii Fit with other software to help those who had suffered brain injuries not only in soldiers, but those who had been in motor vehicle accidents. One such accident victim, Marcie Ellis, was eventually able to stop walking with a cane and also began to read again.
   There have also been reports of soldiers using gaming technology to help fix symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It has been found that therapy involving the virtual recreation of familiar environments in Iraq, coupled with careful monitoring by qualified physicians can help bring about improvements in PTSD symptoms.
2. Games can help people achieve something they never thought possible
   Sometimes games can also simply help the disabled achieve the unthinkable. Take the case of Jordan Verner, an avid gamer. His goal was simple: he wanted to finish The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
   There happened to be one catch, Jordan was completely blind. He couldn’t see anything on screen.
   Fret not, said some other gamers. Roy Williams, along with some other friends, heard about Jordan’s plight, and decided to make what literally amounted to a step-by-step guide that would help someone who couldn’t see finish the game. With the help from his friends, Jordan was able to achieve what he wanted. An example of gaming bringing people together? This is one of the greatest examples.

These are only a few examples of the difference that video games have begun to make in modern society. There are many more, and the number of people whose lives have been positively affected by gaming will only increase!
Carlo R. Coloma
Carlo R. Coloma
Manager Komunitas MatchMove Games

(Taken from Yahoo news links)

Combating Online Infringement and Counterfeits Act (COICA)

http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2010/09/censorship-internet-takes-center-stage-online

http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/threatlevel/2010/09/CombatingOnlineInfringementAndCounterfeitsAct1.pdf

Combating Online Infringement and Counterfeits Act (COICA).

Quite shocking frankly speaking to have US coming up with a Parliamentary ACT like this one on the bright early morning of Sept 21, 2010.
Never see it coming nor see it approved in the 1st place.
To me, it actually infringes on the very 1st Amendment of US, the freedom of speech.
COICA requires all websites to do self-censoring, otherwise they will be at risk of being obliterated from the very being in cyberspace.
Without any further questions, if found to have infringing materials, the whole website will be shut down in the name of copyright infringment.
Another issue that arise is US has double standards of governance. On one hand, it protests China from banning the websites and commercial uses eg Google, claiming that it obstructs commercial development. Now, it does the same thing and claims that it is for the benefit of commerce.
Now, how weird is that?

It marks also a distinction from the usual US ACT. Why? The normal ones are very specific and held in context. But this new ACT is overarching and generic. Nobody knows when are they going to get entangle in it.

Downside of microblogging

To me, even though having a Twitter account is the "IN" thing for my generation especially my peers, I for some unknown reasons, seldom use it for communications with my friends. I think not just that, even the comments or what is going on columns I also avoid using them. I find it very intrusive. People can track my movements, my thinkings and even quote and print a copy for verification. Does anyone have any idea how condemning this is?

This sounds like a Type 6 on the Enneagram, always  looking out for threats. But that is how I guage the distance to socially conduct myself.

Of course, people might say there is a freedom of speech and expression. But that to me is a tracking device for all my friends, relatives and sadly ,my enemies / rivals. To these people, it is the convenient resources to use. All you have to do is to have an impression and use it when you are trying to search for things. All these technology is trying to make human a live search engines. Almost anything can be searched online. No privacy and definitely no way to defend your actions even if it is taken with good intentions. Afterall you cannot fight a war with so many fronts...the mass sea of connected people...

Another things is imagine with this technology, you are opening yourself up to scrutiny. Isnt this tiring to be perfect everyday?This is case for celebrities who cannot even relaxed by opening themselves up into the microblogging sphere. They are under scrutiny for 24 - 7, but how long can you stay perfect? It is kinda strange that people want to engage in this for the longest time.

Of course with the downsides come the benefits. You are able to share your feelings right on the spot. A true reflection of whatever emotions you have, uncensored. Sound a lot like the Jim Carey movie. In the 106 letters, you are able to train yourself to summarise and consolidate your emotions and express to the best of your linguistic ability.
Sounds like a good english class, huh?

Whether it is good or bad, there is no standard answer. It all depend on your perception and usage. Afterall, as the theorists would say, technology is neutral. It can be empowering and enabling or it can be hindering and obstructing.

Celebrities discover the downside of Twitter

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A Twitter page is displayed on an Apple iPhone in Los Angeles October 13, 2009. Is celebrities' obsession with Twitter starting to wane? REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni/Files

On Wednesday 15 September 2010, 8:36 SGT

By Zorianna Kit
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Is celebrities' obsession with Twitter starting to wane? When singer John Mayer , one of Twitter's most high profile users with 3.7 million followers, shut his account on Monday, he was just the latest celebrity to quit the micro-blogging site.
Some stars are finding that Twitter may be great as a promotional tool or for reaching out to fans, but it also comes with a downside.
Teen singer Miley Cyrus deleted her account a year ago, persuaded into silence by her new boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth.
" Hairspray " star Amanda Bynes deleted her Twitter account last week without any notice to her fans. Earlier this month, Disney starlet Demi Lovato , 18, tweeted that she's saying "goodbye to twitter" because "the access that the other people have is uncomfortable to me."
"The blessing of tweeting for celebrities was this idea that you could bypass sending out a press release and go directly to those who are following you," said Robert Thompson, professor of Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University.
However, many celebrities have found that their tweets are being made fun of, or blow up in their faces.
Although Bynes, 24, offered no explanation for quitting Twitter, she seems to have had a volatile relationship with the so-called "Twitterverse." The actress got flack for announcing on Twitter that she was retiring from acting earlier this year, and then subsequently "un-retiring" a month later.
She also got into Twitter fights with users who disagreed with her tweets, including those about her taste in men.

FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT
"Many celebrities are realizing the old saying that familiarity breeds contempt," Thompson told Reuters. "We used to think that celebrities were distant people we could never communicate with. Twitter reversed that and some celebrities are growing tired of that."
Just ask country singer LeAnn Rimes , who was an active Twitter user when her marriage ended after she cheated on her husband with married actor Eddie Cibrian .
After Rimes and Cibrian divorced their spouses, the duo was photographed kissing each other, which sparked outrage. The singer began to get attacked on Twitter but when she tried defended herself on the site, users retaliated even more.
Rimes closed her account in July 2010, tweeting that it was "unhealthy for me and my family to have to read negative comments." However, a week later she was back on Twitter, saying she missed her fans and wanted to let them know "how much u r appreciated."
Paul Levinson, author of "New New Media," says Twitter has now reached a sort of "shaking out point."
"Those who joined as part of a bandwagon because their peers were on the site, are now finding out if it is truly a medium that works for them.
"For some it will continue to be one of the best things they could do. For others, it has become an imposition, a pain," Levinson said.

WHAT'S THE POINT?
Comedian Ricky Gervais joined Twitter last December because he was hosting the Golden Globes and "they want me to do a running commentary on Twitter."
However, less than a month later, he quit. In his last Twitter post, Gervais wrote he was "going to stop these tweets because I don't see the point.
So is this the beginning of a mass Twitter exodus? Not so, said Bonnie Fuller, president and editor-in-chief of celebrity website HollywoodLife.com.
"For every celebrity that quits Twitter, there's 10 who sign up," Fuller said. "There are just too many of them benefiting from Twitter. Celebrities see it as a great opportunity to communicate with fans, give them information and get feedback."
Fuller cited reality TV star Kim Kardashian , who uses Twitter to successfully promote herself, the products she's lent her name to, and the careers of her sisters.
As for Mayer, a spokesperson for the Grammy-winning singer said he had closed his Twitter account because his concert tour has ended and Mayer is preparing to head back to the studio.
Mayer used Twitter to talk to fans and address controversies, including an expletive-laced Playboy magazine interview in February about his sex life.
The bluesy writer of hits like "Gravity" remains active on Facebook , his own website JohnMayer.com and what appears to be his new favorite blogging site, Tumblr.
In a post on Tumblr last week, Mayer said he felt he had "made the right move" to the new site. Despite having only 50,000 Tumblr followers, he admitted to having "an even larger Tumblr addiction" than the one he had to Twitter.
Whether or not he continues on Tumblr remains to be seen. In a September 12 post -- the latest and last post to date -- Mayer thanked fans for making his recent tour a success and signed off by saying that it was "time to (try to) disappear for a while."
(Editing by Jill Serjeant)

Savings

Saw the following articles are very interesting and true. Would like to share with you.

http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/10-Things-You-Should-Know-usnews-3051642150.html?x=0

One of the most important things you can do for yourself -- and your future -- is to set aside money for saving. Opening a savings account is a good way to start. A habit of saving can help you achieve financial freedom, since you will be prepared for emergencies, as well as prepare for the future that you want. In order to help you better understand the process, here are 10 things you should know about saving your money:

1. Compound Interest Really is Magic
You should realize that compound interest really can help you build your savings faster. This means that the earlier you start, the more your savings will grow. Additionally, realize that the best yield matters, so you should look for high yield money market account or savings.

2. It's OK to Start Small
Many people think they need to start with $1,000 for an emergency fund, or make a big contribution to a retirement account. This is not true. It is OK to start small. Figure out what you can afford now, and get in the habit of saving. Just make sure to increase the amount you save as your income increases, and/or as you pay down debt.
3. You Need Savings Goals
Carefully think about what you want your savings accounts to accomplish, and set goals. Having goals for your money will help you better prepare, and it gives you something to work for. Then you need to create a plan to help you reach those goals.


4. Different Accounts Accomplish Various Purposes
There is more than one kind of savings account. You should have different accounts for different goals. Your emergency fund should be distinct from your retirement account, and savings for short term goals should separate from both of those. Consider the type of account you need for each of your savings goals.

5. Savings Should Be Part of Your Budget
You will be better off if you make your savings part of your budget. Think of your savings contributions as an "expense" -- and an important one at that. Put "paying yourself" at the top of your financial priorities list.
6. Cash is Not Always King
When it comes to saving, cash is not always king. While you want your emergency fund and short term savings goals to benefit from the liquidity of cash, more long term savings endeavors need something with a higher yield. Long term, you need to beat inflation, so that your buying power isn't eroded during retirement. Consider investments like stocks and bonds for long term savings goals, like retirement.
7. For Retirement, Max Out Tax-Advantaged Accounts First
One of the ways to get ahead with your retirement savings is to invest. Before you start using a regular investment account, though, make sure you have maxed out your tax-advantage first. Putting money into a 401k and an IRA (including Roth options) before you move to other types of investment accounts is a good idea, since you will see tax advantages.


8. Sometimes You Can Save for Others
If you want to help others, you can do so by saving for others' futures. College savings accounts, trust funds and accounts for charitable organizations can help you leave a legacy, and feel good about what you do with your money. And in some cases, you end up with a tax break.
9. Spending is Never Saving
Many people talk of "saving" when they get a "good deal." However, you really are not saving in such cases; you are spending money. If you do not need the item, or do not even really want it that much, then the spending aspect is even more pronounced. Do not confuse getting a good bargain with actually saving money.

10. It is Possible to get Too Carried Away
While you want to save for the future, it is possible to get too carried away with saving money. Remember that life is for living as well. Strike a balance so that you are saving enough to protect you during an emergency, and to help you toward a fulfilling retirement, but do not lose sight of today.

Here is a simple fact about budgeting. Just because you have a budget doesn't mean you manage your money well. If you don't believe this, consider the U.S. government. It has a budget--enough said.


Budgets can be a great tool to help you achieve your financial goals. But if you approach budgeting the wrong way, it can lead to frustration, stress, and even more spending. So to help you stay on track, we've identified seven costly mistakes people make when trying to manage their monthly budget, along with a few suggestions on ways to avoid these mistakes.

1. Picking the wrong tools: As an initial matter, it's important to start with the right budgeting tools. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions. For some, the best tools may be a pad of paper and a pencil. For others it could be a spreadsheet or personal finance software. And there are even online alternatives such as Mint.com. The key is to find what works best for you and stick with it.

2. Trying to track everything: There is absolutely no need to track every dime you spend. For most of us, we over spend in just a few categories. So pick the areas that cause you the most trouble, and track just those categories. It will make budgeting a lot easier and less time-consuming. The key is to ask this question--how will tracking my spending in this area help me better manage my money? If you can't answer that question for a certain category of expense, there is probably no need to track it.
3. Setting unreasonable goals: Similar to dieting, we can kill a budget if we set unreasonable goals. We need to allow room in our budget for fun and for unforeseen expenses. If part of your budget is paying down debt, make sure you are realistic about how much you can pay on the debt each month. If we set unreasonable goals, we are much more likely to give up when we don't reach them.
4. Failing to plan for periodic expenses: Annual or semi-annual bills can wreck a budget. Whether it's life or car insurance, taxes, or gifts, it's best to plan for these expenses on a monthly basis. One easy way to do this is add up the annual cost of these periodic expenses, divide be 12, and save that amount each month. When the bill comes in, you'll have the money saved in advance to pay for it.
5. Failing to plan for emergencies: An unexpected expense can bring down a budget quickly. Whether it's a car or home repair, or perhaps a medical expense, emergencies can throw us deep into debt if we are not prepared. While we can't prepare for every financial situation, building up an emergency fund can help us handle many unexpected expenses. On a monthly basis, set aside money in a high interest savings account, to build your emergency fund.

6. Failing to Automate: Automating your finances can go a long way to helping you plan and budget. Whether it's paying bills automatically from your checking account or automating your retirement investments, automation makes life easier. As part of automating, consider paying recurring monthly bills and expenses with a credit card. By using a card, tracking these expenses is automatic. And if you use one of several of the best cash back credit cards, you get the added benefit of pocketing some extra cash each month. The key, of course, is to make sure you pay off the credit card bill in full each month.

7. Giving up: This last mistake is the most costly. If you are trying to budget and manage your money, you will make mistakes. You'll buy something you later regret buying. Or you'll forget about a periodic expense until the bill comes in. Mistakes happen. The key is to persevere. And to do that, it's helpful if you recognize up front that you will have set backs. By expecting them from the start, you'll be more prepared to deal with them when they arise.
http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/How-to-Fix-7-Common-Budgeting-usnews-1613243814.html?x=0

http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/Sacrifices-You-Shouldnt-Make-usnews-4019709337.html?x=0

For those of us who think of the money side of retirement often, it's easy to forget about the fact that the day we decide to retire is just another day in our lives. It's not the start, but it's not the end either. There's a whole lot of mileage left in our journey, even after we decide to forever pack up our suits and formal dresses for good.


Reaching a number in your retirement account is not the end goal. That number is merely a checkpoint in our journey that allows us to change how we spend our days. Here are a few things you will regret doing later if your motivation is just to get a higher 401(k) balance.
Neglect your friends and family. Sadly, this is quite common. Whether it's the pressure from the corporate ladder or just personal greed, friendships seem to grow farther and farther apart as we age. Countless studies have shown that people are happier with the right support group. Isn't happiness the real goal we should be striving for? You don't want to retire with a bunch of money, but all alone.

Fail to develop a passion. Are you one of those people who works so many hours every day that you think taking a coffee break is a vacation? Perhaps when you take a vacation you don't know what to do all day. Now multiply that feeling by 24 and then 7. That's retirement. Develop a passion and your retirement life will be fulfilling. If you don't have a plan for how to spend your time in retirement, you might as well just keep working.

Ignore present pleasures. Money is not just for hoarding, but for spending too. Having a multimillion dollar bank account balance is awesome, but most people would agree that it's not worth it if you have to eat plain white noodles everyday for the rest of your life to accumulate that amount of money. The future is important, but the present is equally significant.

Forget that retirement is just a checkpoint. Retirement is not the end. Just like college graduation, the last day of your career is just a change in your daily schedule. Having a high net worth is nice, but a fulfilling retirement is nicer.

photo of me.....10yrs from now vs NOW

I did not know when the craze started but apparently it is the pet project of a photographer. It goes like this, choose a picture that you had in the past, do it same pose with the same clothes and sam location and contrast between the two.

At first, I thought it is a kill time game. After a while, I had different opinions of it. By doing so, you are forcing yourself to travel back time and to relive the same state, same emotions and same context that you have been in years ago. This may evoke questions like how do I get back to the old happy state? Which is good as it will force people to evaluate how they have been doing in their lives.

But after viewing through some of the photos, even though the pose is there, the state, the emotions are not there anymore. One can no longer maintain that anymore.

That is sad as they do the photos may be for the fun of it, without being aware of the hidden posibilities.

Virtual Girlfriends in Japan

Just saw an article where a resort in Japan cater to the young male Japanese a resort where they can holiday with a virtual and non-existent girlfriend.

Such reflect the extent of how technology has impacted on the lives of people. There is no longer a clear distinction between what is real and what is not. People pour out their feelings and emotions to technological products which are considered an dead object without expressing it on other humans. I wonder if this is a form of avoidance between humans so much so people would rather talk to technology than to face a real human. They may want to reduce frictions between humans, the negative emotions that comes from communication.

But such also affected the society on a social level. According to the Census of Japan, their birth rates have been declining rapidly so much so they are an Aged society. The emphasis on the use of technology in society it seems have affected the lifestyles of Japanese. I wonder how the Japanese Government is going to rectify this.

Power of nap

From young, my mother would advise me. Have a bath, do your homework till your hair is dry. Take a 30mins nap and you can continue to do your homework. It was a routine set by my mum which I dislike because it is so regimental.

As I begin working, I realise the importance of nap. I tried to do so after lunch everyday. It work marvelously. I was more energetic and alert. even though the nap may be like 15mins. Of course, there are embarassing moments where I find myself snoring or dripping saliva. geez.......
Now with more workload, I realise I cant do it anymore. What a pity.

Dealing with angry or impossible people

It is practically impossible not to meet with this kind of people. One second they may be nice, the other they may just explode.

How to deal with them?

I was so desperate that I did a google search on the topic and was offered a few tips.

1. Recognise that such kind of people do exist - there is nothing you can do about them. People are not all compatible with each other.

2. Understand that it is THEM not YOU. So do not blame yourself for it as it takes 2 hands to clap. A nice explanation would be:

This can be surprisingly difficult, considering that impossible people have complete mastery of blaming skills. If you're dealing with an impossible person, you're probably being told on a regular basis that every conceivable thing is your fault. It isn't. As the saying goes, "It takes two to tango." Chances are, the more often they blame you, the more they themselves are actually at fault. Keep in mind that this is not to be used as a way to blame them. Blaming is what impossible people do, and they do it well. Instead, you are only facing the facts, for your own sake. That being said, here's a simple way to tell: If you accept responsibility for your own faults and resolve to improve yourself, it's probably not you. Remember, impossible people "can do no wrong."

3. End the Relationship if you can, if you can, stay away from the person unless you had to.  People can be so toxic that it is self-abusive to stay with them.

Whether they are a friend, a boss, a parent, even a spouse, the time to leave will eventually manifest. Maintaining a relationship with an impossible person is, literally, impossible. If you can't (or won't) make a physical departure immediately, make a mental one. In your mind, you've already left the relationship. The only thing left to do is wait for physical reality to reflect that fact.

4. Protect yourself from the person and maintain a healthier state or limit the time spent with them.

If you have regular dealings with someone who tries to portray you as the source of all evil, you need to take active steps to maintain a positive self-image. Remind yourself that this person's opinion is not necessarily the truth. Understand that oftentimes, impossible people are particularly "fact-challenged." If the attacks have little basis in raw fact, dismiss them. You can't possibly be as bad as this person would like you to believe you are. Do not defend yourself out loud, however. It will only provoke the impossible person into another tirade.

5. Stop trying to solve the unsolvable with the person. LIVE around them. Impossible to treat them as normal because they are like kids, craving for attention.

Understand very clearly that you cannot beat these kinds of people; they're called "impossible" for a reason. In their minds, you are the source of all wrongdoing, and nothing you can say is going to make them consider your side of the story. Your opinion is of no consequence, because you are already guilty, no matter what.

6. Avoid them when they are having one of their HEATED moments.

If you aren't careful, you could find yourself adopting much of the offender's own behavior, even if you aren't voluntarily trying. Eschew blame entirely by understanding that this is just the way the other person is. These things define the impossible person's actions, and nothing you do can change any part of their past.

Understand that you are going to be accused of much (or all) of this behavior yourself. If your impossible person gets a look at this text, to them it will look like a page about you. Prepare yourself for the fact that the impossible person's flaws and failings will always be attributed to you. Remember, in their minds, you are at fault for everything! They will have an endless supply of arguments to support this, and if you make the mistake of encouraging them, they will be more than happy to tell you why you are the impossible person, and how ironic it is that you are under the mistaken impression that it is them.

7. Acknowledge that this is a pain for them without ignoring or minimising their feelings. Otherwise, this would escalate into another ANGER SPIRIAL.

Until it is over, your task in the relationship is to manage the impossible person, so that he or she deals less damage to you. As a manager, your best resources are silence (it really is golden in some cases such as this), humoring the other, and abandoning all hope of "fixing" the impossible person. Impossible people do not listen to reason. They can't (and even if they could, they wouldn't). You can't convince them that they have any responsibility for the problems between you. They don't recognize (or if they did, wouldn't try to improve) their flaws for a very logical reason; they don't have any flaws. You must understand and manage this mindset without casting blame and without giving in to anger. It's far easier said than done, and you will slip from time to time, but as time goes on, you'll become a better manager.

8. Respond to the FEELINGS and not the content of their RANT. Frankly speaking this is hard to do, as words can be like sharpened harpoon that will pierce through any mental defences.

9. Do not defend yourself by attacking their flaws, meaning to say that if you commented "You are too sensitive", you can consider yourself dead.

10. Communicate how their NEGATIVITY affects you. Start with I not YOU. May work, may not work depending on ther person's personality regression.

11. Suggest remedy to anger problem. Try ANGER MANAGEMENT.

12.  Do not be a MARTYR

Don't become a martyr. Before you attempt to deal with impossible people yourself, you may have to learn how to control your own emotions. If you are simply unable to avoid an impossible person due to work, family, or other reasons, it is especially important to find other interests, join a support group, and seek therapy or religious counseling if necessary.



Don't let them be the martyr that brings you down either. It is a real source of frustration to have a difficult person "play the martyr" around you to arouse your feelings of guilt and confusion. Beware this tactic and stand aside from them as they serve as their own martyr without you cementing their choice by fawning over them or conceding to their behavior.

Well, this is a lengthy post. I hope it inspires you as it inspires for me.

(Extracts taken from http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People )

Power struggle in office

Some people evolve over time preferring not to get into fights with their boss when they know they could not win.
So what do they do?
They do reframing under a general context by getting the positive intention out to get the same purpose.
That is called chunking up.
How to counteract all these?
After some considerations, I think is to put the positive intention into the correct context. And to chunk down to similar situations but solutions that work effectively.
She definitely crawl under my skin. I must tell myself no more nice people. No more face for her.
Twisting and reframing the words.
Trust my law and my logic.

Subconscious vs Unconscious

A friend of mine not too long ago ask me what is Subconscious and what is Unconscious.
Is there any difference between the two.
I got curious and did a quick research.
According to Oxford Dictionary online version,
Subconscious is of or concerning the part of mind of which one is not fully aware but which influence one's behaviour and actions.

Unconscious is not awake and aware and responding to the environment.

Not fully convinced on the diffrences, I translate it to chinese.
Subconscious is 潜意识in chinese. It means that it is hidden under the consciousness. I believe it is something formed out of habits, something that is familiar which one can close the eyes and do it without any effort.
Unconscious is下意识 in chinese. It means it is below consciousness. I believe it is more like it is instinctive and situational. We go by reflex.
What do you think?

Inception

A movie that delves into the subconscious level of human beings. Something that everyone is so sensitive about and there is an air of mysticism around it.
After watching the movie, there is only 1 word to describe.

"OVERWHELMING"

Why? It is like kongfu movie, psychology and conman job all roll into 1 rojak.
Instead of intriguing my minds on how they go into the subconscious, they replace all by drugs, sedatives and a certain gadget that puts people down.
It is in fact more like a maze. Endless routes and options. A con job within a con job within a con job...
Like when you put the mirrors facing each other creating endless images..
I like the script more than the images.
The most famous movie quote is this. More like a hypnotic sentence.

What's the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human ...

The seed that we planted in this man's mind may change everything.

 Another one is

Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.

Another NLP-like sentence is

You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

Another interesting one is

If you can steal an idea, why can't you plant one there instead?

The endless possibilities is

The dreamer can always remember the genesis of the idea. True inspiration is impossible to fake.

I feel shitty. Why?
I just lost my company access card.
I din even remember how I lost it, the lanyard still hanging around my neck. Geez..with the keys but the card with the plastic is gone.
Why like that?
Not that I am riding on the high. I think I feeling depressed so the low alert. I tried to be alert but there are so many things that need my attention and that I am really floored this time. Shame to the floor. And someone is going to sing victory song. I hate my enemy singing victory song. Wah lau...
Then my mum was angry with me. She is angry as she is concerned about my well-being. That I understand but I cannot handle more anger..cannot tolerate..geez..wat has the world come to?
I can only take it so much..

reactions n beliefs

Here is a story I have heard and I think it is worth sharing.

Last thursday, A had a minor argument with someone which left him feeling upset and angry. It sort of spoilt his entire day.
He was wondering why should he be so affected by the other person's opinions and language?
Naturally, I could not help him but just listen to him.

I din know the answer to his question until I started my weekend lessons.

The other person pressed A's hot button on his values and beliefs. Because a person's values and beliefs is so close to their heart, something that they hold it tight within themselves.
A becomes offended by the other person because it is something he holds it dearly in his heart. Honesty and integrity and impartiality. By saying he is not acting according to his values and beliefs, he is naturally upset and angry. He finds the accusation untrue and degrading.
Worse still, the other person went straight to A's boss to lodge a complaint. A felt even more angry. An wrongful accusation is not enough, now the other person wants to ruin the impression that A's boss has of A? Wah, another hot button.
A always tries to maintain his image and impression in front of everyone. Treat everyone with respect and care to the best of his abilities. Here is someone who brush away all his efforts and throw it right back at him, leaviing him hurt and offended.

What lessons can be drawn out from here?
1. Have trust in yourself. IF you do it right along with logical thinking and careful consideration, no matter what the other person say, you will be calm and controlled. Outsiders do have eyes to view for themselves and judge for themselves.

2. Respect everyone's values and beliefs. If the other person thought of A that way, all A have to do is to "PAUSE". Do self-reflection on themselves by viewing it from 3rd party's perspective using perceptual position. Dissociate yourself from your position and view the entire fight like a movie. Think if you have done wrong. Then step into the shoes of the accuser and see if there is anything wrong with A's behaviour. If you have done nothing wrong, then remain calm and peaceful. It is not A's issue. It is the other person's issue.

Having a peace of mind, respect others is important. There is no FAILURE only FEEDBACK.

        

Definition of success

Success is a very vague term.

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of Success is defined as follows:

"–noun



1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.


2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

3. a successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.


4. a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.


5. Obsolete . outcome. "
 
Is this the way to define Success?
According to the NLP terms, success is a nominal word.
It is too chunked up and confusing. 
It is also a subjective definition that varies with individuals.
On the general, it can be divided into 2 types, temporal and lasting.

Temporal success means things like money, status, appointment, etc.
It is fleeting and will go away as time passed by. For instance, a few years ago, you can be successful financially as u have millions of dollars and so on. But once the economic crisis sets in or any wrong move in investment, your money has shrunk over time.
You can be a CEO in 1 second, peak of a person's career but over time due to illness, company not performing well, etc, you can not hold the appointment of CEO anymore.
There seems to be like a pareto optimality theory behind it in the sense that only 1 person can succeed and be at that position at 1 time.

On the other hand, lasting success means things that only you know.
It is like some kind of personal achievement that spawned a new change in you or others. For instance like personal goals of doing voluntary work, helping others in need, create a change in outlook, etc. This is more evident in those who have suffered a personal crisis like cancer remission patients or bankrupt people.
Of course, one need not go through the extreme extent to reach this personal achievement. By heightening awareness and observe the surrounding, one can go through all these changes. You can embrace the qualities that you wish to uphold and move towards your dream or goal.By changing yourself, you not only shape your future but you also influence others as everyone is connected.

On a social level, Singapore seems to have 1 measure of success in general. Every few years on the newspapers, there is an article on the 5Cs or even 6Cs.Condos, cars, cash, casinos....
It seems so superficial and temporal according to the theory.

To me, success is not so specific.
 It emcompass BOTH.
For someone who step into the society not too long ago, both physical and mental success are important. Not that we are so $$ focused, but we live in a world connected to others. We cannot help but influence by them as well. IF that is the standard that they are measuring themselves up there, it is what they are going to reach out. By that, one cannot help but to reach a certain level up in the $$ as well. Otherwise we would not be able to survive. Likewise, when we achieve mental success, there wil be a part of it that constitutes to a physical success as well.
I just hope with careful considerations and planning, I will achieve both in the future.
Not just by saying but also physical doing it as well.


Every beginning has an end and every end has a new beginning.

So what is your definition of success? Have you thought about it?

"Fight the battle of life, failure shot me but success will heal the wound."

"Fight the battle of life, failure shot me but success will heal the wound."


This is the quote I lifted from one of the many webpages that I have came across.
Day after day, we have to fight battles, be it big or small, nitty gritty or overwhelming issue, we have no time to take a deep breathe, freeze it and relax. We have to face it, confront it and work with it,whether we like it or not.

Things are just not moving in your favour. There are detestful persons that you have to deal with, who hound you everyday on a certain non-consequential issue that you feel is outside of your scope for the moment.
They cannot understand the meaning of NO in a subtle ways.

Then there are detestful persons who will try to squash your dreams by saying NO to what you are thinking. Why would they say that? Because you are toying with the idea of using the Resources that they are eyeing for. Your Resources.

Then comes the intricate yet complicated issues known as human relationships and work dynamics. Who is in your web and who is not. How that this impact on that? How to approach someone who is too sensitive? How to twist it so that it works in your favour? How come people's problem becomes your problem when you got no time to solve your own problems?

I am not god, never say I was.
Why cant I get a simpler environment?
Too tired to think.
To even dream.
My dream.
Why?
Coz I was caught up in the web.
How to get out of the web and extricate myself from there?
Success?
Where are you?
Can you tell me if I have detour, away from you?

Self-limitation

Everyone loves a mystery or a game. At some point in time, people cannot resist but to play games. They not only play games with others, on others but also onto themselves.
What kind of games can they possibly play with themselves?
They play inner self-games but discrediting themselves.In other words, SELF-Sabotage.

Are these kind of inner games really neccessary?
Do we really need them in our lives?
Is this what we really really wants?

We will mention self-sabotage when we talk about a certain outcome setting.
It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy because what we focus our energy on, that thing with the energy as the nutrients will expand and grow.
For instance, when we say I dont want to cheat myself.
You will probably end up cheating yourself as the brain as certain deletion function that erase out the word "Don't" and focuse on the act of cheating


It is actually our superimposed fear and wild imagination that trigger this self-sabotage.
So in order to get yourself back on the right track, you probably need to ask yourself the following questions:

a) Where are you right now with respect to your goal set?

b) What is it that you are enjoying RIGHT NOW that is keeping you from your goal?

c) What is it that you have to give up with respect to your goals?

d) What will happen if you do not have what you enjoy now?



The idea of change will only come when there is no longer this self-sabotaging occuring.
Have the Resources to aid the changing and shifting does not means there is a willingness to achieve the goal.

The question to ask is now "How do you catch your "self-limitation" which is self-imposed?

Area of discomfort

Attending this Master Practitioner for NLP, makes me more aware of myself and my feelings.
IT actually makes me redefine a lot of things. Out of which is "DISCOMFORT".
To be frank, for things that matters to me, I love to control it.
 It is a comfort zone which I feel I can do my learning, feeling safe and secure in a controlled environment.
However, since coming to this course, I was being reframed.

To quote someone, "Great learning comes when you experience great discomfort".
When you are feeling uncomfortable, you should congratulate yourself because your level of knowledge is going to increase. At first I was like, are you sure coz I cant even get used to the feeling of discomfort. I often build a fence around me so that I can learn peacefully on my own. Turn out by experiencing discomfort, I am forced by myself to be mroe aware of certain things. Things I have not noticed before. It opens up a whole new path or facet of myself which I have not known of. Absolutely amazing. I searched around the net and found this very interesting article to share with you.

Lessons in Discomfort
“In many instances, the likelihood of an individual succeeding (no matter what the goal) will be dependant on how uncomfortable that person is prepared to get and for how long.” C.A.H.

The Application of the Information
This morning I coached someone who asked me to expand on the ‘growth comes through discomfort’ theory. It’s something I’m always teaching and it’s a concept my client was having trouble getting her head around – from a practical application point of view. As the concept is relevant to most of us, I thought I would expand on it a little today.
What’s Growth?

In the context of this discussion, growth could mean a range of things: learning, improvement, adaptation, skill development, greater insight, better understanding, less fear, more confidence, greater productivity, less anxiety, more patience, fewer destructive habits and even something as practical and measurable as greater physical strength and improved health.

For an athlete, growth might mean more points per game, a higher vertical leap or a faster time. For a shop-aholic it might mean eliminating debt and changing spending habits. For the person with a social phobia, it might mean looking someone in the eye and initiating a conversation. And, for the chronic people-pleaser it could mean saying ‘no’ to somebody, taking a stand and not backing down. In simple terms, growth means creating positive change in some area of our (personal) world.

What’s Discomfort?
Discomfort, on the other hand, could be anything that (in a general sense) we’d rather avoid. It could present itself in the form of a work problem, a financial situation, a conversation we’re always deferring, a fitness challenge, a health issue, a habit we need to break, a fear we need to confront, a relationship we need to end, a dynamic we need to change or even (as many people have experienced) an unexpected illness. It could arrive in the form of an emotional, physical, psychological, sociological, financial or professional challenge. Or, a combination thereof.
Individually Uncomfortable
The interesting thing about the discomfort/growth paradigm is that it’s completely personal in terms of how and when it works and what it means to us. By that, I mean one person’s discomfort (and, therefore, opportunity to grow) will be another person’s minor event. There is no universally relevant discomfort scale because we all think, feel, experience and react differently. A scale like P.R.E. (a widely-used scale which gauges an individual’s Perceived Rate of Exertion while completing a physical task) tells us that comfort or discomfort, hard or easy is all about the individual. Which tells us that learning, adaptation, change and improvement are also about the individual.
Standing on a stage and talking is simply part of my job. For me, that task is about as stressful as driving a cab might be for a cabbie. That is, not very. For someone else, it might be an exercise in anxiety or maybe even terror. And, at the same time, a major opportunity for growth. Knowing that things only have the meaning we give them, we can safely assume that there is no single experience, process or situation that will produce consistent or equal results in terms of positive or negative change across the board.

Naturally, not all discomfort serves a positive purpose (standing in front of a moving bus for example) and, of course, we need to be wise and discerning about how, when and why we ‘get uncomfortable’. Having said that, it’s important that we find the awareness, courage and understanding that allow us to see problems, hurdles, barriers and catastrophes for what they really are: opportunities to grow and learn.

Is it time for you to address that thing you’ve been avoiding?
Don’t get mad at me – you keep putting it off. I’m just reminding you.

(Taken from http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/lessons-in-discomfort.html)
 


However, I always know deep in my heart, I always find the idea or feeling od discomfort, familiar yet alien coz I have not touch base with it for a long period. Why?
I haven been forcing myself to step out of comfort zone and try something new and unknown.

Now, I wonder, how to keep that feeling / familiarity with discomfort sustainable?

Successful ending

I just finished one event of mine, lasted 2 weeks. My Colleague aka Tony B complimented on my success at coordinating an event from commencement to finale. I acknowledged myself for doing the best I could for the best of my ability.
Nonetheless, I have to improve on other areas.

Human Interaction
I still feel a lack of warmth or intimacy with other people especially strangers. I still hold back a little. May be I am introverted, maybe i am closet-intimate, maybe my communication skills or social skills need to be brushed up. I still feel awkward around people.

Hospitality management
Maybe I shd take a course on this. I feel so awkward..but it is part of the job...

Technological support
I thought since this is my field of expertise, I should be able to provide the best support but Murphy seems to have his way. I am totally lost. Geez...Maybe should attend some computer workshops. Ahh...considerations for next year.

Interior Design
I must learn this. Very important. I got a lot of ideas and my ideal house depends on this.

Protocol
Seriously not sure how to do it. Must find a manual or something to read up.

Timing
Seriously off. I feel I am slower at doing things and anticipate things. I am doing fire fighting most of the time. Tiring.

Yup, that's about it. I guess. I did a good job and could have do it better, Ganbatte,

Event mgt

Aww mah, it was not easy job. In order to be a good events coordinator, one has to be big picture person at first. When u goin to do this and by when is the deadline.
Then on the actual day, one has to be detailed person. Assume the persona. Attend to the details. Which is nicer, colour affect? Music affects? Food involved, arrangement alright?Your people working fine?Your boss okie?
That's how i went through. Thoroughly drained becoz i being not a thorough person has to do all these. Bosses will open their eyes big big to see ur performance.
I must say, in the past, i will panick.
With NLP, i tell myself, in order for me to be successful, i must assume the role of a hostess and events coordinator. Then i visualise what kind of physiology that a successful events coordinator must have, the state to be in and the energy level to have
Tell you, it takes a few seconds but definitely worth the effort even though i am tempted to skip it.
My kind friend Tony B has kindly reminded me to be calm and confident. Geez..I shall remember, BE PRESENT, forget about tml or the next day, FOCUSED.
Thanks to him for making me laugh..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ........................

According to a recent study by the American clinical society on the issue of SLEEP, it was reported that people generally suffered from major illness if they did not get 7hrs of sleep per day. I was thinking is there a need to do so since from young, we were told that the body will regenerate and reccuperate during the nighttime. If we know this, we would know that by depriving ourselves of sleep, our cells do not get repaired and thereby turn into cancerous cells.
So why is there a need for reminder?
All because we are in the age of Information Technology where the Internet rules our lives.
Information overload is a common issue and the way to solve it is to spend longer time on the Internet thereby sacrificing our sleep.
And we do not get good quality sleep because we are disturb by the electromagnetic wave of the computer and our minds are in the hyper state instead of winding down..
So unless with good discipline and time mgt, it is hard to sleep early. At least for me..