A little follow-up on the earlier incident.
Apparently my mode of communication to my colleagues is not good. I checked out for feedback regarding the mini confrontation that I had with the rude colleague of mine.
Guess what?
She completely missed my point. She insisted another colleague of mine is out to frame her. She does not see where her fault lies.
I am now convinced my mode of communication is very bad. I always believed that it is the sender's failure to get the proper message sent across.
Either that or her decoding of messages sent was poor. She was into self-delusion. She totally convinced herself that she was innocent and that it was perfectly legitimate to open other people's cabinets.
Geeez....I must say no matter which way, it is very sad to see someone in her 20 odd years of service fails to see the importance of security.
Haiz........
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Bridging method
In the TOYF, there is a small part under the Pendulum Plan called "Bridging Techniques".
Of course, there are other literature that contains such terms too.
Bridging, under the TOYF context, is referring to what's being done moments before answering a question that is very important to others. The questioner will assess you based on your response.
Benefits of Bridging is very good as it is a good way to show respect to others, clarify the questions posed so that the reply will be accurate and lastly to buy some time to clear out how to reply.
It is often used to reply somone very emotional at that point in time. The method emphasise on acknowledging the other person;s feeling and thoughts before dealing with the facts.
Well, I thought this is a pretty good plan but I probably would not use it. I was proven wrong last friday.
My colleague sent me some information to go through. I went through them and flag some items to my boss. I brought those documents to my boss. On my way back to my desk, I heard cabinet door being slammed, coming from the direction of my desk. As I sit at one corner, colleagues would not be loitering there unless they are there to find me. I am positive that at that point in time, there was no one else in that corner.
Then I saw the colleague who handed me the information coming out from my cubicle. To be honest, I was shocked. I knew this colleague of mine rummaged my cabinet without my permission as I can hear the noise made by my own cabinet. I was bloody pissed off and angry.
But I have other things to be done. I suppressed my anger and went ahead with other things.
Then as things settled down, I began to think back while pacing up and down in my cubicle. No way was I wrong about that colleague. She came out of my cubicle area.
In order to be factual, I asked the other colleagues to see if they witness anything.
But BOY, I was bloody mad.
Turn out, one of them saw it and quickly scotted off.
From then I have no doubt about my theory.
Now,left the option of how to bring this up to that guilty colleague of mine.
A little bit on this colleague of mine. She is very sensitive. She hates people misjudging and mistreating her.
She once told me off for putting documents on her desk with her computer on while she was away.
I mean fine. It was actually partly my fault. I should have waited for her to come back before giving her. But c'mon, her desk doesnt even have an IN-tray. She should have switched her computer to desktop while she was away.
She wants others to respect her.\
She even told another sick colleague of mine that she should not be loitering around othe people's cubicle when they are not around.
Now, under such circumstances, can you see why I am bloody mad and pissed off?
She was clearly double standard.
She doesnt respect me at all even though I hold a Higher position than her. (I dun like to compare position but she is the one who always insist she was discriminated against due to position difference).
She doesnt even care of other's security yet she want hers secured.
She is the one who insisted on privacy and etc.
Ridiculous isnt it?
I wasnt that petty kind but security issues are not to be played with or belittle upon.
I knew I had to say this to her. If there are anything important missing from my cabinet, I will be held accounted for.
Geez....
So I forced myself to calm down. I had to force myself with the help of my colleagues. There is no point burning bridges with her. I had to get stuff from her.
Bridges..Ah! bridging......
I tried to recall what I learnt from the bridging techniques.
At first, I questioned her about her prescence in my cubicle.
Then she tried to explain she wants to take the documents. (I find it hard to believe as I asked her before when she need it. She said she need it on monday.)
Fine, I accepted it though my blood continue to simmer.
Then I ask cant she wait for me to get it since I am around.
She said she was in a hurry and she cannot find me. (That's bulls. I was in the same level as her. Cant she search for me?)
Again, my blood continue to bubble.
Finally, I asked the most important question. What did she search at my cubicle?
She said she went through my desk and drawers.
Tah-dda
That's the answer I want.
So I said. Please let me know what kind of things you want. I am in the office. Please do not search around my cubicle. This is not good and it creates unneccessary problems.
I make sure she knows that I am unhappy and do not belittle me as I am younger than her. There are things that age would not be an legitimate excuse for the behaviour.
She replied. I was in a hurry mah. I got a witness. (So what if you have a witness? Where is your approval from the boss or the owner?)
You should have told me that you are going to tell your boss. (Her memory must be failing her. I told my boss in front of her when he came down to look for me. Besides, you are the one who told me you only need it on Monday. Furthermore, your position is lower than mine, I already did my best informing you. Why should I tell you again? You are not my boss.)
Nonetheless, I told her firmly. Do not do it again and caused unnecessary trouble.
Then I left.
By then, my blood reaching boiling point. Bloody idiot! 强词夺理的猪头.
That's not a legitimate answer.
She was no security manager and my boss.
So what if she quoted a witness? Can you still justify why you search your superior's desk?
No wonder it caused some male chauvinistic pigs to come up with things like 女人头发长, 见识短. (Women have long hair but they have no foresight). Not all ladies are like that but
There was a chinese saying dont do anything to others unless you want them to do so to you. (己所不欲,勿施于人.)
Bloody unreasonable.
Then I calmed down with the help of icecream and think through. In my haste, I forgot to acknowledge her emotions, Her motives for doing this so it was half-complete. Thus making my efforts not to burn bridges with her a bit half-done. She only received the "I know what you did and do not do it again" message.
A bit half-baked. But nice effort.
I thought through. I wasnt used to dealing with all these especially confronting the guilty ones. I should improve on my delivery and make sure I send the correct message in the correct format the next time.
Of course, there are other literature that contains such terms too.
Bridging, under the TOYF context, is referring to what's being done moments before answering a question that is very important to others. The questioner will assess you based on your response.
Benefits of Bridging is very good as it is a good way to show respect to others, clarify the questions posed so that the reply will be accurate and lastly to buy some time to clear out how to reply.
It is often used to reply somone very emotional at that point in time. The method emphasise on acknowledging the other person;s feeling and thoughts before dealing with the facts.
Well, I thought this is a pretty good plan but I probably would not use it. I was proven wrong last friday.
My colleague sent me some information to go through. I went through them and flag some items to my boss. I brought those documents to my boss. On my way back to my desk, I heard cabinet door being slammed, coming from the direction of my desk. As I sit at one corner, colleagues would not be loitering there unless they are there to find me. I am positive that at that point in time, there was no one else in that corner.
Then I saw the colleague who handed me the information coming out from my cubicle. To be honest, I was shocked. I knew this colleague of mine rummaged my cabinet without my permission as I can hear the noise made by my own cabinet. I was bloody pissed off and angry.
But I have other things to be done. I suppressed my anger and went ahead with other things.
Then as things settled down, I began to think back while pacing up and down in my cubicle. No way was I wrong about that colleague. She came out of my cubicle area.
In order to be factual, I asked the other colleagues to see if they witness anything.
But BOY, I was bloody mad.
Turn out, one of them saw it and quickly scotted off.
From then I have no doubt about my theory.
Now,left the option of how to bring this up to that guilty colleague of mine.
A little bit on this colleague of mine. She is very sensitive. She hates people misjudging and mistreating her.
She once told me off for putting documents on her desk with her computer on while she was away.
I mean fine. It was actually partly my fault. I should have waited for her to come back before giving her. But c'mon, her desk doesnt even have an IN-tray. She should have switched her computer to desktop while she was away.
She wants others to respect her.\
She even told another sick colleague of mine that she should not be loitering around othe people's cubicle when they are not around.
Now, under such circumstances, can you see why I am bloody mad and pissed off?
She was clearly double standard.
She doesnt respect me at all even though I hold a Higher position than her. (I dun like to compare position but she is the one who always insist she was discriminated against due to position difference).
She doesnt even care of other's security yet she want hers secured.
She is the one who insisted on privacy and etc.
Ridiculous isnt it?
I wasnt that petty kind but security issues are not to be played with or belittle upon.
I knew I had to say this to her. If there are anything important missing from my cabinet, I will be held accounted for.
Geez....
So I forced myself to calm down. I had to force myself with the help of my colleagues. There is no point burning bridges with her. I had to get stuff from her.
Bridges..Ah! bridging......
I tried to recall what I learnt from the bridging techniques.
At first, I questioned her about her prescence in my cubicle.
Then she tried to explain she wants to take the documents. (I find it hard to believe as I asked her before when she need it. She said she need it on monday.)
Fine, I accepted it though my blood continue to simmer.
Then I ask cant she wait for me to get it since I am around.
She said she was in a hurry and she cannot find me. (That's bulls. I was in the same level as her. Cant she search for me?)
Again, my blood continue to bubble.
Finally, I asked the most important question. What did she search at my cubicle?
She said she went through my desk and drawers.
Tah-dda
That's the answer I want.
So I said. Please let me know what kind of things you want. I am in the office. Please do not search around my cubicle. This is not good and it creates unneccessary problems.
I make sure she knows that I am unhappy and do not belittle me as I am younger than her. There are things that age would not be an legitimate excuse for the behaviour.
She replied. I was in a hurry mah. I got a witness. (So what if you have a witness? Where is your approval from the boss or the owner?)
You should have told me that you are going to tell your boss. (Her memory must be failing her. I told my boss in front of her when he came down to look for me. Besides, you are the one who told me you only need it on Monday. Furthermore, your position is lower than mine, I already did my best informing you. Why should I tell you again? You are not my boss.)
Nonetheless, I told her firmly. Do not do it again and caused unnecessary trouble.
Then I left.
By then, my blood reaching boiling point. Bloody idiot! 强词夺理的猪头.
That's not a legitimate answer.
She was no security manager and my boss.
So what if she quoted a witness? Can you still justify why you search your superior's desk?
No wonder it caused some male chauvinistic pigs to come up with things like 女人头发长, 见识短. (Women have long hair but they have no foresight). Not all ladies are like that but
There was a chinese saying dont do anything to others unless you want them to do so to you. (己所不欲,勿施于人.)
Bloody unreasonable.
Then I calmed down with the help of icecream and think through. In my haste, I forgot to acknowledge her emotions, Her motives for doing this so it was half-complete. Thus making my efforts not to burn bridges with her a bit half-done. She only received the "I know what you did and do not do it again" message.
A bit half-baked. But nice effort.
I thought through. I wasnt used to dealing with all these especially confronting the guilty ones. I should improve on my delivery and make sure I send the correct message in the correct format the next time.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Art of talking
For the past few years after school, it has been a road of discovery about myself.
I loved the road of discovery but it is quite scary, honestly.
As I mentioned earlier, making / giving a speech wasn't my forte.
I prefer writing over talking. May be that is why I took an instant liking for Internet where everyone is
faceless.
I have a lot of things to say, some may be offensive to others.
BUT I never dare to say.
Why?
I am scared I might offend people and fell into the vicious cycle of being attacked by others.
If being silent can stay out of harm's way, why not?
I can be brutally direct at times.
This becomes my weapon without my knowledge until someone told me about it after she cannot stand it.
Then I realise I have the problem of packaging my ideas.
In other words, my delivery is bad.
I have been finding ways to deal with it but they worked with varying success depending on the context.
This is not good as I do not know what are my success factors. Now it seems like a pure stroke of luck make those occasions a success.
Then I came across an interesting notion.
Store what you want to bring up and things you want to say. When someone mentions similar things, repackage / reframe those ideas that you have in mind and say it out.
Works the best.
Now I have given it some thought and find that it is not a bad idea.
But it has several pre-requisites:
a) You must have a GOOD MEMORY. Otherwise the ideas might just slip away like I always do.
Or the database in the mind has no search engine. Lost links.
b) You must have QUICK REFLEX. Why? so that the moment things are mentioned and balls are
rolling, you can quickly reframe and shoot.
c) You must have LARGE ANTENNA. If you have one, congratulations. You can have the widest
reach and bring ideas up.
May be I can try to cultivate those pre-requisites and I will not get bulldozed into doing work that I cant refused.
I loved the road of discovery but it is quite scary, honestly.
As I mentioned earlier, making / giving a speech wasn't my forte.
I prefer writing over talking. May be that is why I took an instant liking for Internet where everyone is
faceless.
I have a lot of things to say, some may be offensive to others.
BUT I never dare to say.
Why?
I am scared I might offend people and fell into the vicious cycle of being attacked by others.
If being silent can stay out of harm's way, why not?
I can be brutally direct at times.
This becomes my weapon without my knowledge until someone told me about it after she cannot stand it.
Then I realise I have the problem of packaging my ideas.
In other words, my delivery is bad.
I have been finding ways to deal with it but they worked with varying success depending on the context.
This is not good as I do not know what are my success factors. Now it seems like a pure stroke of luck make those occasions a success.
Then I came across an interesting notion.
Store what you want to bring up and things you want to say. When someone mentions similar things, repackage / reframe those ideas that you have in mind and say it out.
Works the best.
Now I have given it some thought and find that it is not a bad idea.
But it has several pre-requisites:
a) You must have a GOOD MEMORY. Otherwise the ideas might just slip away like I always do.
Or the database in the mind has no search engine. Lost links.
b) You must have QUICK REFLEX. Why? so that the moment things are mentioned and balls are
rolling, you can quickly reframe and shoot.
c) You must have LARGE ANTENNA. If you have one, congratulations. You can have the widest
reach and bring ideas up.
May be I can try to cultivate those pre-requisites and I will not get bulldozed into doing work that I cant refused.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Friendships
I am at the crossroad of yet another friendship again.
I realised I am not very good at handling relationship. The flair for it is nearly zero.
Time and again, I have to deal with it and I havent manage to find a way to minimize my emotional damage.
Still like a kid, not handling it in a mature way.
To me, rapport building with people was never easy. I only let a few into my inner circle as MBTI would have put it. Relationship building is never easy for me and I treasure any relationship with anyone. I tried to keep up with the relationship maintainance, at least I did my best.
Close friends are hard to find. As time passed, people will change in terms of personality, looks, social circles and etc. Therefore, the nature of the friendship changes.
Efforts are made to accommodate all these, never mind the infrequent catching up and work issues. In my opinion, friendships are like this, if it is yours, it is yours. It is fate that people meet and click and form a friendship. You work hard to maintain it and try your best to keep it.
But a relationship need 2 parties to communicate and maintain, not just one-sided. Things will always crop up but one has to try to find some time to make it work. It can't be coincidental that everytime you ask someone out, the other person is not free. It simply sound like the person is trying to avoid the other party.
Why?
Precisely of the dfference between people.
The eventual result of such relationship is drifting apart and dissociate ties then.
That's why I wonder, is the difference so great that one cannot accomodate another, not even on the account of several years of friendships that each other had.
I simply cannot understand.
I know that people has to work, has to have their own social circles and etc. They are tired and has nothing else in mind but to rest.
Normal friends can be as such. The requirements may not be so stringent.
But close friends. How can a pair of close friends not meet for 6 months, given the fact that both are in the same country?
Is friendship so not worth keeping it?
On the other perspective, may be I am very paranoid and possessive, possibly even "sticky" as chewing gum. Maybe the other party has a boyfriend and has to manage her time carefully...
Of course, friendships cannot be compared to imtimate relationships like couple had. That I can understand.
Maybe the other party needs more time for her dream fulfillment.
Maybe...
Maybe...
Maybe...
Maybe...
There are so many "Mabybe"s that I dont know it exist.
I feel quite disappointed. It feels like an warm gesture of extending a hand for handshake has been slapped away or not been reciprocated.
Quite sad...
Worse of all, I feel very bad as I myself have not improve much. Like not much growth, mentally. Unlike others, who improve by leap and bounds.
But how to deal with it?
I have not figure it out. The best way I tried so far is to forget it.
Minimize and blot out the image.
Any other methods to try?
I realised I am not very good at handling relationship. The flair for it is nearly zero.
Time and again, I have to deal with it and I havent manage to find a way to minimize my emotional damage.
Still like a kid, not handling it in a mature way.
To me, rapport building with people was never easy. I only let a few into my inner circle as MBTI would have put it. Relationship building is never easy for me and I treasure any relationship with anyone. I tried to keep up with the relationship maintainance, at least I did my best.
Close friends are hard to find. As time passed, people will change in terms of personality, looks, social circles and etc. Therefore, the nature of the friendship changes.
Efforts are made to accommodate all these, never mind the infrequent catching up and work issues. In my opinion, friendships are like this, if it is yours, it is yours. It is fate that people meet and click and form a friendship. You work hard to maintain it and try your best to keep it.
But a relationship need 2 parties to communicate and maintain, not just one-sided. Things will always crop up but one has to try to find some time to make it work. It can't be coincidental that everytime you ask someone out, the other person is not free. It simply sound like the person is trying to avoid the other party.
Why?
Precisely of the dfference between people.
The eventual result of such relationship is drifting apart and dissociate ties then.
That's why I wonder, is the difference so great that one cannot accomodate another, not even on the account of several years of friendships that each other had.
I simply cannot understand.
I know that people has to work, has to have their own social circles and etc. They are tired and has nothing else in mind but to rest.
Normal friends can be as such. The requirements may not be so stringent.
But close friends. How can a pair of close friends not meet for 6 months, given the fact that both are in the same country?
Is friendship so not worth keeping it?
On the other perspective, may be I am very paranoid and possessive, possibly even "sticky" as chewing gum. Maybe the other party has a boyfriend and has to manage her time carefully...
Of course, friendships cannot be compared to imtimate relationships like couple had. That I can understand.
Maybe the other party needs more time for her dream fulfillment.
Maybe...
Maybe...
Maybe...
Maybe...
There are so many "Mabybe"s that I dont know it exist.
I feel quite disappointed. It feels like an warm gesture of extending a hand for handshake has been slapped away or not been reciprocated.
Quite sad...
Worse of all, I feel very bad as I myself have not improve much. Like not much growth, mentally. Unlike others, who improve by leap and bounds.
But how to deal with it?
I have not figure it out. The best way I tried so far is to forget it.
Minimize and blot out the image.
Any other methods to try?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
State of Unrest
I always has this state of unrest after a period of being in my comfort zone for too long. I yearn to do something new, something drastic and something challenging.
Not sure if anyone ever feel this way, the feeling is rather intense at times and I just loathe myself for not able to do anything.
Why am I unable to carry out anything?
One, I dun have a concrete plan. Relying on passion and impulse is not going to get anyone anywhere, better still may land the person in hot soup. Once you have a plan, passion will then comes in and motivate people to strive for their goals.
Sounds a lot like procrastination huh?
But the fact is that after the period of unrest, the awareness of cruel reality seeped in. What is the contingency plan that I have should my adventure fails? Do I have the resources to pull it off? I am still in debt repayment. Actually, what I lack I believe besides a concrete plan is financial resources and network.
Hmm.....
All that sort of dampen my spirit to do something drastic until the next surge of unrest hits me again.
Then someone triggered and stirred up the surge of unrest in me when I am in the dormant stage.
Geez.......
Not only did he make my brain work overtime, the feelings of unrest starts to gnaw me again.
GEez.....
He mentioned the following:
1. It is good that I feel the state of unrest and being dissatisfied with my present life.
2. It is good to be unrealistic and have this big rather impossible dream as there is a fine line between a madman and a genius.
3. There is a difference between gifted and talented. Gifts are limitless and innate in everyone while talents ae additional bonus that each one of us may or may not have.
Can you imagine the inner turmoil I have upon hearing this?
Hmm....there is a revolution going on in my mind.
I have never thought of it this way. Dreams I have but...
It is always BUT behind...
Let me think very hard on it and reflect.......
Geez...
Not sure if anyone ever feel this way, the feeling is rather intense at times and I just loathe myself for not able to do anything.
Why am I unable to carry out anything?
One, I dun have a concrete plan. Relying on passion and impulse is not going to get anyone anywhere, better still may land the person in hot soup. Once you have a plan, passion will then comes in and motivate people to strive for their goals.
Sounds a lot like procrastination huh?
But the fact is that after the period of unrest, the awareness of cruel reality seeped in. What is the contingency plan that I have should my adventure fails? Do I have the resources to pull it off? I am still in debt repayment. Actually, what I lack I believe besides a concrete plan is financial resources and network.
Hmm.....
All that sort of dampen my spirit to do something drastic until the next surge of unrest hits me again.
Then someone triggered and stirred up the surge of unrest in me when I am in the dormant stage.
Geez.......
Not only did he make my brain work overtime, the feelings of unrest starts to gnaw me again.
GEez.....
He mentioned the following:
1. It is good that I feel the state of unrest and being dissatisfied with my present life.
2. It is good to be unrealistic and have this big rather impossible dream as there is a fine line between a madman and a genius.
3. There is a difference between gifted and talented. Gifts are limitless and innate in everyone while talents ae additional bonus that each one of us may or may not have.
Can you imagine the inner turmoil I have upon hearing this?
Hmm....there is a revolution going on in my mind.
I have never thought of it this way. Dreams I have but...
It is always BUT behind...
Let me think very hard on it and reflect.......
Geez...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
TOYF - Benefits Plan
Someone reflected that I should do more on the earlier post on my application of TOYF's "Benefits Plan".
I am sorry that I missed out that part, only showing the applications but not the formula.
See that's what NLP terms it as the applying critical success factors for good work done in an unconscious level.
Now this person reminded me that I must show the conceptual thinking behind it which I would have forgotten.
Let me go through a little bit of history.
TOYF's main line of argument is based on logical reasoning with facts.
BENEFITS PLAN is the last plan out of a total of 6 plans listed on TOYF.
It is represented by a ring of arrows protruding outwards.
The line of reasoning is used to persuade and convince audience by illustrating the potential benefits from the audience's perspective.
Benefits are different from the features of the products. They are the points which the audience values a lot and finds out that by using the features of the product for instance, it make them more efficient and smart.
The structure of the argument is the commonly used sandwich method in which you package your persuasive points in the following order:
2nd most impressive point --> disadvantage --> Most impressive point.
Of course logic can be a double-edged sword.
People can rebutt your line of reasoning by using the REVERSE BENEFIT plan in which using the same structure outline the disadvantages to the audience.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope everyone gain a bit of knowledge on the use of such plan.
Again, this is my personal understanding and opinion of the concept.
Copyright infringement is definitely a NONO for me.
I am sorry that I missed out that part, only showing the applications but not the formula.
See that's what NLP terms it as the applying critical success factors for good work done in an unconscious level.
Now this person reminded me that I must show the conceptual thinking behind it which I would have forgotten.
Let me go through a little bit of history.
TOYF's main line of argument is based on logical reasoning with facts.
BENEFITS PLAN is the last plan out of a total of 6 plans listed on TOYF.
It is represented by a ring of arrows protruding outwards.
Benefits are different from the features of the products. They are the points which the audience values a lot and finds out that by using the features of the product for instance, it make them more efficient and smart.
The structure of the argument is the commonly used sandwich method in which you package your persuasive points in the following order:
2nd most impressive point --> disadvantage --> Most impressive point.
Of course logic can be a double-edged sword.
People can rebutt your line of reasoning by using the REVERSE BENEFIT plan in which using the same structure outline the disadvantages to the audience.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope everyone gain a bit of knowledge on the use of such plan.
Again, this is my personal understanding and opinion of the concept.
Copyright infringement is definitely a NONO for me.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Self-consciousness
On a shopping trip with mum,we saw a lady trying to look for a seat on the MRT.
She looks well on the outside, but she keeps shifting her stance as if her legs are tired.
Nobody was taking notice of this.
Whenever there is an empty seat, she will try to move there as soon as possible after a slight hesitation. However, others nearby were too fast for her.
I whispered to my mum. "Why did she hesitate? She could have gotten the seat if not for her hesitation."
My mum with her words of wisdom shed some light into this. "Well, she might be feeling self-consciousness."
I was surprised at her comment.
We continued our discussion on this.
Me:
"Well, if she has a valid reason like her legs are weak and she desperately need rest, she can take the seat without any self-consciousness or how others view her. Afterall, she is the only one to take care of her own health."
Mum:
"You must know this. People will gossip about their behaviour right in front of them. It would not be nice, isnt it? Moreover, you dunno if anyone will blog this on the Internet or take picture and post them online calling her a seat grabber. Afterall, she looks find on the exterior."
Me:
"Well, she has a problem and she is the only one to know. There is no need to publisize and announce to everyone in the cabin that 'hey I have a weak knee and I need a seat.' She should know her own health. It is better to get a seat and have everyone's tongue wagging than to fell down and suffer injuries. As long as your conscience is clear, there is no need to tell anyone."
Mum:
"Things dun happen this way. People will think you are selfish and not civic-minded."
I was loss for words. Apparently, the loss of FACE is more important than health.
But on a another level, the impact of technology on people is tremendous yet again.
Even aunties are wary of the technology and do self-censorship on their actions and behaviours so that their photos wont end up in the YOUTUBE or STOMP.
Scary isnt it.
She looks well on the outside, but she keeps shifting her stance as if her legs are tired.
Nobody was taking notice of this.
Whenever there is an empty seat, she will try to move there as soon as possible after a slight hesitation. However, others nearby were too fast for her.
I whispered to my mum. "Why did she hesitate? She could have gotten the seat if not for her hesitation."
My mum with her words of wisdom shed some light into this. "Well, she might be feeling self-consciousness."
I was surprised at her comment.
We continued our discussion on this.
Me:
"Well, if she has a valid reason like her legs are weak and she desperately need rest, she can take the seat without any self-consciousness or how others view her. Afterall, she is the only one to take care of her own health."
Mum:
"You must know this. People will gossip about their behaviour right in front of them. It would not be nice, isnt it? Moreover, you dunno if anyone will blog this on the Internet or take picture and post them online calling her a seat grabber. Afterall, she looks find on the exterior."
Me:
"Well, she has a problem and she is the only one to know. There is no need to publisize and announce to everyone in the cabin that 'hey I have a weak knee and I need a seat.' She should know her own health. It is better to get a seat and have everyone's tongue wagging than to fell down and suffer injuries. As long as your conscience is clear, there is no need to tell anyone."
Mum:
"Things dun happen this way. People will think you are selfish and not civic-minded."
I was loss for words. Apparently, the loss of FACE is more important than health.
But on a another level, the impact of technology on people is tremendous yet again.
Even aunties are wary of the technology and do self-censorship on their actions and behaviours so that their photos wont end up in the YOUTUBE or STOMP.
Scary isnt it.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Sun Tzu's quote
"Do not believe that the enemy will not come,
Believe in your readiness to deal with him"
I chanced upon this on a TV show on Channelnews Asia.
I find this quote very interesting. Based on my limited experience, this quote is so true, providing a solution to one of my existing problems.
Self delusion is one of the worse things that can happen to anyone at anytime. you want to delete away the bad news like your computer can do, forget it and it will go away.
However, based on experience, bad things will never go away. In fact, the more you ignore it, the more attention seeking it is and snowballed into a series of bad events which you may or may not be capable of handling it. The consequences more often than not, is disastrous. Of course, you can always blame Murphy and forget Justin Case does exist, just that you never even trouble yourself to find Justin.
Hence, the best way to deal with bad things is to face it straight on. Tell the bad thing and convince yourself to say "Bring it On, Baby". Of course handling the bad thing initially will be tough. But as you go along, bad things like knots will become easier to unravel at the end. Once you are ready to deal with it, there is no stopping of getting a good, positive result unless Mr Murphy decides to disturb your solution to find balance.
Hopefully, everyone can convince yourself to get ready to face the challenges ahead.
Believe in your readiness to deal with him"
I chanced upon this on a TV show on Channelnews Asia.
I find this quote very interesting. Based on my limited experience, this quote is so true, providing a solution to one of my existing problems.
Self delusion is one of the worse things that can happen to anyone at anytime. you want to delete away the bad news like your computer can do, forget it and it will go away.
However, based on experience, bad things will never go away. In fact, the more you ignore it, the more attention seeking it is and snowballed into a series of bad events which you may or may not be capable of handling it. The consequences more often than not, is disastrous. Of course, you can always blame Murphy and forget Justin Case does exist, just that you never even trouble yourself to find Justin.
Hence, the best way to deal with bad things is to face it straight on. Tell the bad thing and convince yourself to say "Bring it On, Baby". Of course handling the bad thing initially will be tough. But as you go along, bad things like knots will become easier to unravel at the end. Once you are ready to deal with it, there is no stopping of getting a good, positive result unless Mr Murphy decides to disturb your solution to find balance.
Hopefully, everyone can convince yourself to get ready to face the challenges ahead.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Benefits vs Privacy
Technology has been surrounding us ever since I can remember.
Since the advent of the Internet, things have been changing drastically.
More new compatible applications and products have beenc created to ride on the wave of Internet, which is described as the 4th Revolution. The world suddenly is no longer restricted by its geographical limitations, and shrunk into what Marshall McLuhan coined as "Global Village".
As a result, people around the world becomes technologically enabled. For instance, people can become reporters and post what they have seen online. Everyday lives was suddenly magnified several 100 times as it was circulated throughout the entire Global Village within seconds. We all know that there is this girl residing on a tiny island, did a DIY sex video and was circulated around the world. There was this certain girlfriend who nearly destroyed her boyfriend's male happiness with her physical abuse. Nitty Gritty details becomes the information that was circulated and make known to nearly all of us so much so that I feel it maybe one of the factors that contribute to Information Overload in this Information Age. Suddenly, the quality of the information dropped so drastically that gossips filters into our daily lives.
Of course, there are other things like Google world map which also featured Street view. It is an excellent tool in my opinion especially when one decides to go travelling. At least you have seen the place before and you most likely would not get lost. You know the road situations, whether is it a one way lane or 2-way street. The convenience is unmeasurable.
However, on the news today, someone discover that a nude woman walking around her house was caught on the Street view as the street scene was captured by Google. I was like, OMG. How unfortunate.
That set me thinking how come this was not filtered? Furthermore, even though it was very convenient and has a lot of benefits, does it outweighs our own privacy now that our lives are put online that everyone can see it? Are we going to do self-censorship and be very conscious of our actions and behaviours in our everyday lives for the fear that we may be caught on the camera or other devices and be posted online?
There will be a 3rd pair of eyes looking very carefully every movement we make. How does it impact on our lives? Doesnt it amount to surveillance?
Since everyone is subjective, some people may not be comfortable with some thing and they took the picture without permission and post online. What happened to the courtesy and the respect for privacy of others? For the sake of showing off or proving one's point, other's privacy is sacrificed. Is the sacrifice worth it?
These are the issues that we have to grapple with in our everyday lives as technology become a major part of our lives.
Since the advent of the Internet, things have been changing drastically.
More new compatible applications and products have beenc created to ride on the wave of Internet, which is described as the 4th Revolution. The world suddenly is no longer restricted by its geographical limitations, and shrunk into what Marshall McLuhan coined as "Global Village".
As a result, people around the world becomes technologically enabled. For instance, people can become reporters and post what they have seen online. Everyday lives was suddenly magnified several 100 times as it was circulated throughout the entire Global Village within seconds. We all know that there is this girl residing on a tiny island, did a DIY sex video and was circulated around the world. There was this certain girlfriend who nearly destroyed her boyfriend's male happiness with her physical abuse. Nitty Gritty details becomes the information that was circulated and make known to nearly all of us so much so that I feel it maybe one of the factors that contribute to Information Overload in this Information Age. Suddenly, the quality of the information dropped so drastically that gossips filters into our daily lives.
Of course, there are other things like Google world map which also featured Street view. It is an excellent tool in my opinion especially when one decides to go travelling. At least you have seen the place before and you most likely would not get lost. You know the road situations, whether is it a one way lane or 2-way street. The convenience is unmeasurable.
However, on the news today, someone discover that a nude woman walking around her house was caught on the Street view as the street scene was captured by Google. I was like, OMG. How unfortunate.
That set me thinking how come this was not filtered? Furthermore, even though it was very convenient and has a lot of benefits, does it outweighs our own privacy now that our lives are put online that everyone can see it? Are we going to do self-censorship and be very conscious of our actions and behaviours in our everyday lives for the fear that we may be caught on the camera or other devices and be posted online?
There will be a 3rd pair of eyes looking very carefully every movement we make. How does it impact on our lives? Doesnt it amount to surveillance?
Since everyone is subjective, some people may not be comfortable with some thing and they took the picture without permission and post online. What happened to the courtesy and the respect for privacy of others? For the sake of showing off or proving one's point, other's privacy is sacrificed. Is the sacrifice worth it?
These are the issues that we have to grapple with in our everyday lives as technology become a major part of our lives.
Friday, March 12, 2010
TOYF - Part one
TOYF?
What does it mean?
THINK ON YOUR FEET
Well, it is a course that I recently attended. I was wondering to myself for the past 3 years what kinda course have I been taking that I missed out such an important one.
It is important to me, a person whose reaction is always slower than others by 3 seconds, metaphorically speaking. Well, it is more than 3 seconds.
Ahhh...I digress. It is not good to lose focus.
Back to the course.
I realise I can use this to deal with my bosses especially strong-opinionated ones.
It took me awhile to fully remember the concepts and internalise it.
Anyway, this morning, my boss was hell-bent on a certain idea that I find it ...hmmm....inappropriate..hmm...a better word might be......less beneficial.
So in my head, i was thinking....geez...how to convince him...must get something to stuff his mouth......let's see..what kinda person he is....hmmm....of course i am grateful that there are other colleagues distracting him while I think.....Geez...I really cant think of anything except to keep staring at his face...
AH-HA! An idea struck me. Remembering i was reading a book on how to market ideas by judging person from the facial features..I decide to give it a try before deciding on what plans from the TOYF to use.
Hmm......straight untidy thick brows.. signifies a very direct person, act without thinking...self-opinionated...Then I ask myself the next question. What is the issue that matters to him the most...
From there I get it that I must use the ZOOM OUT LENS plans to show him the big picture which he might have missed out....
TOYF is a good tool to use when you are short of time and need a structure to flesh out persuasive argument in a short time.
It is a good tool I feel for kids too who may find that writing compo is a chore as they do not know how to link up the details / pictures shown. STRUCTURE is the key for good compo. It is beneficial for kids to learn this right from the start.
TOYF I find is very much similar to NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING, NLP. For instance, ZOOM LENS plan used in my example here is retermed as Chunking or Reframing in NLP terms..
However, there are some training companies who specialised in both NLP and TOYF explains that TOYF is more for one-to-many communications eg. trainers to class while NLP is more for ONE-to-ONE Communications.
I beg to defer.I find that NLP is a holistic package from assessment to actions while TOYF is just solutions.
This brings out the caveat of the course.
One thing about the TOYF is you must know how to assess the situation and the target to persuade within a short period of time before you can decide what plan to use. Having all the plans is not enough. They are tools to use.
Just my opinions on this useful course which I feel everyone, especially newbies must try. I dunno why I take so long to get into the course. I have had feedbacks that it is very stressful but after going through, I would say it is well worth the brain activities.
I will try to share some more uses of TOYF here.
Cya.
What does it mean?
THINK ON YOUR FEET
Well, it is a course that I recently attended. I was wondering to myself for the past 3 years what kinda course have I been taking that I missed out such an important one.
It is important to me, a person whose reaction is always slower than others by 3 seconds, metaphorically speaking. Well, it is more than 3 seconds.
Ahhh...I digress. It is not good to lose focus.
Back to the course.
I realise I can use this to deal with my bosses especially strong-opinionated ones.
It took me awhile to fully remember the concepts and internalise it.
Anyway, this morning, my boss was hell-bent on a certain idea that I find it ...hmmm....inappropriate..hmm...a better word might be......less beneficial.
So in my head, i was thinking....geez...how to convince him...must get something to stuff his mouth......let's see..what kinda person he is....hmmm....of course i am grateful that there are other colleagues distracting him while I think.....Geez...I really cant think of anything except to keep staring at his face...
AH-HA! An idea struck me. Remembering i was reading a book on how to market ideas by judging person from the facial features..I decide to give it a try before deciding on what plans from the TOYF to use.
Hmm......straight untidy thick brows.. signifies a very direct person, act without thinking...self-opinionated...Then I ask myself the next question. What is the issue that matters to him the most...
From there I get it that I must use the ZOOM OUT LENS plans to show him the big picture which he might have missed out....
TOYF is a good tool to use when you are short of time and need a structure to flesh out persuasive argument in a short time.
It is a good tool I feel for kids too who may find that writing compo is a chore as they do not know how to link up the details / pictures shown. STRUCTURE is the key for good compo. It is beneficial for kids to learn this right from the start.
TOYF I find is very much similar to NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING, NLP. For instance, ZOOM LENS plan used in my example here is retermed as Chunking or Reframing in NLP terms..
However, there are some training companies who specialised in both NLP and TOYF explains that TOYF is more for one-to-many communications eg. trainers to class while NLP is more for ONE-to-ONE Communications.
I beg to defer.I find that NLP is a holistic package from assessment to actions while TOYF is just solutions.
This brings out the caveat of the course.
One thing about the TOYF is you must know how to assess the situation and the target to persuade within a short period of time before you can decide what plan to use. Having all the plans is not enough. They are tools to use.
Just my opinions on this useful course which I feel everyone, especially newbies must try. I dunno why I take so long to get into the course. I have had feedbacks that it is very stressful but after going through, I would say it is well worth the brain activities.
I will try to share some more uses of TOYF here.
Cya.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Dear John
Well, I am pretty excited about this movie as this is directed by one of my favorite director, Lasse Hallstrom. I still remember one of his earliest works, a Swedish Film known as " My Life as a Dog". I was so touched by the details and the scenes that the director created for the main character that I was crazy enough to order from Amazon.com when I saw there are copies of the film sold in US.
Though the film is one of my projects, my groupmates and I absolutely love the film so much so that we re so dedicated to the film report and we got an A for it. Because of that, we formed an amazing friendship that lasted us through the university days and till now, though we din take much modules together after that.
Okie, I must apologised I digress drastically....I was brought back into memory lane.
This movie transformed from a book by Nicholas Sparks, another author who wrote heart-wrenching novels. I supposed this is going to be a teary movie for me so arm to the teeth with the maximum packets of tissue that my bag can hold, my friend, Val and I went to watch the show.
At the end, I feel so terribly empty. I was only touched when the male lead was opening his heart out to his dying autistic father in the hospital. Other than that, it was so average.
The editing wasnt so fantastic. Alot of repeat scenes which I am not sure if the original novel has it written that way. But I must say the trailer did the BEST job.
Why?
It manage to capture all of the best shots in the movie and convinced me to watch it in theatre.
But a lot of close up shots on the actors.
I felt that the casting may not be a good idea as the emotions displayed wasnt that obvious. The inner turmoils and the eyes..did not betrayed that heart wrenching feelings. I must say that Channing Tatum is part of the reason why I went into the cinema watching the show. lol.
Ahh...a lot of product endorsements in the movie. So deliberate to let the screen capture the brand of the products.
It is an average show for me.
BTW, I was nearly killed by my friend that day as I unwittingly bought the tickets scheduled at 0420AM. luckily there are still seats available and the ticket lady allow us to change. HENG ah!
Otherwise, my friend would have slaughter me alive....
Whew!!!
What a day!
Though the film is one of my projects, my groupmates and I absolutely love the film so much so that we re so dedicated to the film report and we got an A for it. Because of that, we formed an amazing friendship that lasted us through the university days and till now, though we din take much modules together after that.
Okie, I must apologised I digress drastically....I was brought back into memory lane.
This movie transformed from a book by Nicholas Sparks, another author who wrote heart-wrenching novels. I supposed this is going to be a teary movie for me so arm to the teeth with the maximum packets of tissue that my bag can hold, my friend, Val and I went to watch the show.
At the end, I feel so terribly empty. I was only touched when the male lead was opening his heart out to his dying autistic father in the hospital. Other than that, it was so average.
The editing wasnt so fantastic. Alot of repeat scenes which I am not sure if the original novel has it written that way. But I must say the trailer did the BEST job.
Why?
It manage to capture all of the best shots in the movie and convinced me to watch it in theatre.
But a lot of close up shots on the actors.
I felt that the casting may not be a good idea as the emotions displayed wasnt that obvious. The inner turmoils and the eyes..did not betrayed that heart wrenching feelings. I must say that Channing Tatum is part of the reason why I went into the cinema watching the show. lol.
Ahh...a lot of product endorsements in the movie. So deliberate to let the screen capture the brand of the products.
It is an average show for me.
BTW, I was nearly killed by my friend that day as I unwittingly bought the tickets scheduled at 0420AM. luckily there are still seats available and the ticket lady allow us to change. HENG ah!
Otherwise, my friend would have slaughter me alive....
Whew!!!
What a day!