Empower citizen's political power

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/%E2%80%98find-more-ways-to-give-more-power-to-the-people%E2%80%99.html

It reminds of the song.

MOE to revamp policies and directions

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/moe-to-focus-on-values--character-education.html

For years, as a student, we often wonder why there is a value difference between what is advocated in sch mgt and school teachers. I used to remember a Chinese teacher from my secondary school, Mr Foo, who once sighed in front of our class. He said: "As students, you do not just learn about new information and knowledge. You must learn moral values. You can be brilliant in your studies but once moral values is lost, the person is deemed as worthless." He emphasised on the 5 values which can be found commonly in chinese culture and teachings.
That makes me wonder then, why did the ancestors emphasise so much on that but the educators of today did not place so much importance on it. Could it be a thing of the past or the direction that current educators are heading is wrong?
Years go by.
I begin to reflect on this question on and off. Upon introspection, I realise that my Chinese teacher is right afterall. If one has no values, then the person has no stand or view on everything. He/She is just a puppet or a product down the assembly line performing the tasks without soul. Once such person is under duress, he/she is lost forever. Not only are the decisions wrong which affected others, but also the person. He / she may begin to wonder if they are suited for the job and question their purpose in life which in some worst scenarios leads to depression and death.
When I saw this article this morning, I couldnt help but say YES!
Finally someone understands.
Let's see how is the alignment and the implementation done. It can be just empty promises but a conscious awareness of it is a good start.
Then people can fill in the blanks.
I am beginning to raise my hope.
What about u?

中秋节

中秋节又到了。
虽然已经过了悲伤春秋的日子，心里还是怀念儿时的纸灯笼、小猪仔饼、烟花。美丽的夜晚，设么看起来都是美的，不管人或事。

只要大家在一起，气氛就算是平静，心里也会注入一股暖流。



在这里，我恭祝大家中秋节快乐、月圆人团圆！
추석 즐겁게 보내세요! 즐거운 추석










《水调歌头》 

（宋）苏东坡
丙辰中秋，欢饮达旦。大醉，作此篇，兼怀子由。
明月几时有？把酒问青天。
不知天上宫阙，今夕是何年？
我欲乘风归去，又恐琼楼玉宇，
高处不胜寒！起舞弄清影，何似在人间？
转朱阁，低绮户，照无眠。
不应有恨，何事长向别时圆？
人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。
但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。

关系与机缘

人与人之间的关系很奇妙的。关系好的时候，不论何时何地，都会粘在一起，想牛皮糖一样分不开。可是关系就像是一种机缘。姑且不论机缘是好还是坏，机缘一过，人与人就会渐渐疏远最后分开。
所以，每一个人都要好好把握每段机缘，尤其是好的机缘。毕竟好的机缘是可遇而不可求的。
可是太惜缘注定要受苦的，因为天下没有不散的宴席。
就拿我的一个朋友兼同事来说吧。
到了离开公司的那一天，还是对我们依依不舍。我们也不舍他，但是人各有志，我们也不能牵绊着人家的道好前程。我们带着他，到处旧地重游了一遍，终于在店家几经催促之下，临别不舍地承诺将来要经常聚首才作罢。
带着他四处逛的同时，我的心情是沉重的。如果我都是这样了，那他的心情应该可想而知，一定是非笔墨所能形容的，五味杂陈。
机缘的开始不是人们能掌握的，但是机缘如何结束确是在我们掌控之中。
有时好友各奔前程，许久未见，偶然相遇，依旧能畅所欲言，可真是难能可贵的机缘。
但愿每一段机缘都能如此。

对选择的胡思乱想

每个人天天得面对选择。
可是当我们在作抉择的时候，会不会想到：倘若我选择了另一条道路，我的人生是不是就会不同？
当然我们也知道，一旦做了选择是没有办法回头了。
那好，若说选择会让我们痛苦、坐这山望那山，那咱们若是不选了？那又该如何？
不选的话，那也是一种选择。选择让自己原地踏步，固步自封。等待想选的时候，为时已晚。所以，选择远远比不选来的好。起码，有变化，人生才显得有进步有不同，与时代同进步。
毕竟，人生就是有不同的生活经历堆砌而成。人生的定数就在于其变数。
当然，若是我们选择错了，就会有悔不当初的感觉。这时，当然不能说放弃就放弃，毕竟时代的齿轮也在推进当中。不管你愿意不愿意，这条路都得走下去，毕竟是自己选择的，由不得人。只能希望这一路走下去不会太糟糕，不会输得太难看。别人的眼光就另当别论。
讲到这里是不是很有一代枭雄之感？那种凄凉、唯有靠自己的孤独、苍凉。
正所谓乱世枭雄起，虽然在别人眼里不算是离经叛道，但是对自己何尝不是一次重大的尝试?以前不曾试过的。

痛

真的觉得自己有时候挺可悲的。

明明心底有一种替别人做嫁衣、稳输不赢、输多赔少的感觉，但是还是傻傻的欺骗自己说是为自己好，认识更多事物，是一件不错的事情。这是优势。

但是是我高估了自己，才会造成今天的局面。如果听从心底的那把声音，今天大概会不同吧。

毕竟读文科考秀才的，怎么可能突然放手一搏去考武科呢？

怎么看都是输局已定。

就是喜欢为难自己，帮着别人欺负自己。

多可笑啊！我的职业生涯竟然是四个各怀心思，各有目的利益的家伙给决定的。我很怀疑他们到底了解我多少。
这样说吧，让我为他们的心打打脉吧。
A会说：“这是个绝佳的办法。既然她在这个环境怎么久了，多少也了解一些。不必花时间精力去找别人培训人。况且别人不一定会放人，而短时间也找不到人。再加上会有人教她的，毕竟我刚上任就有人离职，很难看。是个听话的。”
B会说：“把她弄出去也好，省得她处处挡我的路。”
C会说：“推给她吧。我可不愿。给她好，毕竟她年轻，正好体她的将来铺路，让她升职。对她对我都是好事。那个职位是个肥缺，只需要服从规则即可。”
D会说：“好吧！是一个让A相信我的机会。看吧，她一定会走的。”

我很有自知之明。好康的事从来都轮不到我，会轮到我，肯定是人家不要的赝品。

其实那些并非自己挣来的东西，我其实很不屑受之。

正确来说，既然放我在这个位子，就必须负责培训我。可是直到现在，我不觉得我了解我的职位的范畴，职权，权限等等。试问要如何令年长者服从小丫头的命令。要那种事需要强而有力的靠山。他根本就不是我的靠山。更别提管理方面的提示了。就连公司的发展消息，我们部门的发展更新蓝图都不让我知道，请问我是属于那个等级的员工？
更别说，招募新人进我的部门，面试他人的主考官竟然没带上我。我要学什么？
要我去阿谀奉承、与他们虚与委蛇，只为了博他们的好感？有这个必要吗？既然要我工作就必须给于我一定的条件和资源，不然巧妇难为无米之炊的道理，虚长我数十载的大人们不懂吗？
我是只身作战，还被别人笑作决策时慢吞吞。试问如果你是我，你会不会步步为营，毕竟责任重大，稍有差池，别人可是会鸡毛当令箭，杀鸡儆猴。到时候，我是因无知而死，是不会有人替我收尸的。
更别提当我进谏言时，明明我说的就有理，他还是否决我，对我的态度像对小孩一样。试问一个下属一直遭上司的撇开，否决，功劳被抹杀，工作成理所当然，那个下属的感觉如何？
你以为这个职位不需要专业知识？错了，计划实行不是专业知识吗？基金调动，基金管理，物流运输，行政管理不是专业知识吗？如果不是，为什么会有人专门教这个？

我唯一学到的是在职场，千万别当好心人。通常是过劳死的，要不就是冤死。不要再轻易相信别人了。别人的解药，就是我的毒药。我的辛苦、痛苦、付出，成了理所当然，被别人漠视。这么多事去解救别人做什么？苦了自己，何苦来哉？到头还是替别人数钞票，自己有什么好处？不就是，说一句看你能干，继续把自己的工作丢给你，还被人笑说看不开，不会往另一个角度想。我不想自欺，太苦涩了。我的性格都变得扭曲得连我自己都快要不认识了。每天只羊郁郁寡欢，不郁郁而终，有谁信？

fashion sense

I think I would die if someone says the following to me. Haiz..Hopefully not..


    他没立刻回答，巨细靡遗地打量她，然后撂话。“你身上这件衣服，换掉！”

　　“为什么？”她被他看得很困窘。他八成是嫌弃她的穿着很没品味吧。

　　“我不觉得我穿这样有什么不对……”

　　“是吗？随便你。”

　　他太轻易让步，她并不安心，反而更想解释。“我觉得一个人的工作能力不是看外表。”

　　“那只是因为你对自己的身材跟品味没信心。”他不以为然地冷哼。

　　她愣住，粉颊难堪地微烧。

　　“你不肯用心打扮自己，不是因为有自信，是因为太自卑。”他继续不客气地发炮重击。

赠汪伦 - 李白

　李白乘舟将欲行,忽闻岸上踏歌声.

桃花潭水深千尺,不及汪伦送我情.

Being alone and loneliness

Loneliness is not something that everyone can handle.
For some
It takes courage
It takes strong willpower
For some
It is as easy as daily routine

It is all about mindset.
Being alone may not be a bad thing.
At least after a long period of interaction with others
there is a time to rest, recharge, refresh and reflect
Not to admonish oneself
stone oneself
To get acquainted with oneself
explore own personality and being aware of own emotions

OF course being alone is bad when one is a hermit.
It is an acquired taste.
yeah
Loneliness has a taste

别离情

所谓天下没有不散的宴席
千里一叙终须离别
心中不舍可想而知
回忆过去种种
仿佛昨日
各为其主势不两立
争锋相对乃平常事
以为此生就是如此

怎知迫于无奈须合作
方知彼此实属同类人
终产生相知相惜之感
往后更是合作无间
和睦相处生活如意
实为一种奇妙之缘分

交际的两条线终究还是得分离
没有两人的命运是相同的
别离之日渐渐近了
替补之人也已现身
不舍伴着酸涩的味道
喜忧参半
希望尔成功
又希翼尔别弃吾离去
别离之日渐近
苦涩之情越浓

日夜想着念着系着
酸酸甜甜苦苦涩涩
盈满胸膛
回首自身
他人迹已远
吾怎能原地踏步
必励己向上
脱离低靡之地
冲向九重云

bond between siblings

One day while I was on my way to work, out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a pair of figures moving steadily towards my direction. It is really early in the morning and the height of the figures is not what I have expected at that hour.
I took a second look, another look and another look.
It was a pair of sisters, holding hands, walking towards me.
Both of them are in uniforms.
The older sister who wore a primary school uniform, was probably in Primary 2.
The younger sister who was skipping her way to school, was probably in nursery.
Upon seeing them, I wondered where are their parents? How come they are so comfortable letting the two young girls to fend for themselves and go to school on their own.
I searched around. There was no adult figure around them.
I was a bit worried.
What kind of parents allow children of this age roam to school on their own?
By the way, at around 720am in the morning, the elder sister was probably late for school.
I keep observing them, trailing behind.
Then I began to see why the parents did not follow.
The elder sister was very responsible.
When her younger sister was going to let go of her hands while skipping her way, she restrained her and stop her from skipping.
The little girl, all cutesy looking, obeyed her sister and started to walk.
The little backpack she was carrying, was swinging in a regular rhythmn, left right, left right....
Very cute looking.
The sister looked out for incoming cars and led the both of them to the other side of school.
I could feel the deep bonding between the two of them.
The kind of bonding I longed when I was younger.
When I heard that mum was expecting, I was telling myself, I wanted to take care of my younger siblings in the same manner as the elder sister.
 Shield them, protect them.
Didnt come out the same way as expected.
But I felt strongly for that kind of bonding.
Afterall, how many siblings can you have in a lifetime?

蘇軾 江城子

所为何人

临危受命不得不从实非我所愿

前有实才之人怎么也非我也

怎知己所不欲却施之于我

情势强逼迫不得已应运而升

资历尚浅不敢诉苦

昼夜战战兢兢一刻也马虎不得

担子之重实非我期盼

吾之计划全盘皆乱且不怨

衡量仔细深怕错待他人且不论同僚数年之情谊

他人之过尚且不咎致力化小事于无形

子乃出发点皆因公之事

实不该大废周章

奈何善意未达他人之意

吾成他人眼中之刽子手

心狠手辣残害忠良的奸佞小人

心灰意冷扪心自问

非我所愿尽其人事

怠慢不得夜夜无法成眠所为何人

心头之大石沉得透不过气

寻之他法转移吾之视线

身心交瘁皆不怨人

奈何付出之心血皆付之一炬

尔等诉冤 漠视吾之努力

可曾有人替吾设身处地摇旗呐喊为之平反

累已无法抹去
蜗居之内自舔伤口
也被亲人指责为漠不关心
内外不是人何以自处
天下可有我容身之处?

The relationship between bad news and vacations

I don't know what is the link between bad news and my decision to go on holidays. It seems I am not meant to enjoy my holidays.
When I first too a long holiday to Taiwan - being the first time I am out of the country, I was told my mentor resigned and I was to take over her position.
After that, I thought to myself: Better do not go overseas to so faraway. Local vacation is not bad. Bad things will happen if I leave Singapore.
And now, when I decided to go Sentosa, I was told by another colleague who was leaving that I "will remember him once in a while, gradually it fades until memories is all that is left."
Upon hearing this, do you know how sad and heart wrenching this sounds?
Who is dictate how this is going to be, for me and for us?
Does that mean that besides work, there is nothing left?
I really resented the resoluteness and conviction in which this sentence was delivered to me.
I am quite angry about it.
I still remember my primary school classmates and keep in touch with some - those really close ones.
Why is it that we cannot maintain the relationships?
Am I too sentimental, a relationship hoarder or I am simply thinking too highly of myself that people want to be friends with me and maintain our relationship because it is worth the time and effort?
Why is it that it seems that I cannot seem to enjoy my vacations because they are all postmarked with departure and sadness?
I really hate dealing with that.
I do not blame people for leaving after all the pastures are greener outside but I resented the timings. I really do.
I have reached my conclusions.
Really. It does not matter if I take my vacation overseas or locally. Bad news just follows.

赌

赌，贝加者也。
贝乃古时之钱币也。
者乃人人也。
赌实乃人与人之间以钱为活动也。

之古至今众人都离不开赌。
不顾炎炎夏日或是绵绵细雨，
不管风吹雨打日晒雨淋，
人组之龙必然成为街道指标。
奖金越高，人龙也不间断。
好像是一种心魔，
不买好像浑身不对劲。

细瞧之下就会发现这些人有什么。
一张张的脸孔有着不同的表情。
有些人脸上露出兴奋的表情，
有些人眼中透着渴望，
有些人带着希翼却又害怕失望的眸光，
有些人已经绝望但是放不下，
毕竟已经投注了太多心血，
想戒也戒不掉。已经上瘾了。
是一种生命的寄托。
有些则当成是一种投资。
有一些则是发呆似的排着队，双眼无神，仿佛这一切都是义务。
多可怕啊！赌到最后竟然成了义务，把钱分给别人的公司也是义务。
如果善待自己，把拿去赌的钱存起来，当作真正的投资，回报是不是比较确切些？
想想自己的家人，想想自己，值得把自己把至亲的生活搞得乌烟瘴气吗？
是谁欠了谁？

intolerable behaviour on bus

News from overseas received from other countries. Comparisons made between the country and ours become stark. Information flows at much faster rate than the past. And with this speed, come the technology whereby citizens or users are able to air their feedback as soon as they feel an urge to do it. The speed of airing views have changed and the culture of citizen journalism takes shape with such technology. The need for self-censoring seems to be placed at a lesser priority than before or the speed of self-censoring actually increase together with the speed of technology.

Posted on 01 Apr 2011

Commuters here get it easy: Baby was kicked off bus in Australia 'for laughing'
STOMPer babysbreath was shocked to learn that a mum and her baby in Darwin, Australia, were kicked off the bus just because the 13-month-old toddler was laughing. 

The STOMPer feels that in comparison, commuters in Singapore get off easy forfar more inconsiderate behaviour.

According to an article on the Northern Territory News website, the bus driver threatened to throw Toni Hay and her daughter off three times, for making squealing noises and laughing on the bus.

The STOMPer tells us more:

"This apparently happened in Darwin, Australia.

"Mum, Toni Hay, boarded the bus with her daughter, Heather. Heather was making happy squealing noises and laughing because she was excited to be on the bus.

"The bus driver threatened to throw both of them off three times before she finally did it.

"I don't get it. The baby wasn't crying or screaming, she was laughing. Is it a crime to laugh?

"If people are getting thrown off the bus in Australia just for laughing, then we should be doing the same to the inconsiderate commuters here who eat, drink and hog seats, among other things."

Dilemma

I was in the office debating with a good colleague of mine over something trivial. The main focus was not on the issue but what drove me to rebutt the poor man. (Poor man because he is there facing my tyranny.)

On the journey back, I was wondering what caused my outburst. This is not the 1st time I had the outburst. 

Then I realised 2 things.

I need a career fueled by my PASSION. Something that I feel very strongly about and I am willingly to do it at all costs.

I need a career that gives me a sense of contribution and SATISFACTION at the end. I need to do something I feel proud that this is the thing that bears my signature.

I hope to achieve both. How can I do it?

Opposition in SG and social media

This round of General Election is worth waiting and watching for. This time the candidates from each party actually make full use of the social media to advance or inform the public of their political aims. Let's see how much social media can affect the outcomes of the General Elections then.

LinkedIn great for business

After the wonders of social networking sites e.g. Friendster, Multiply, Tagged and Facebook, together with the public communication forum e.g. Twitter, there is a need to set up a networking site that focus strictly on business and professional relationships.
Business and coaching gurus begin to emphasise on the need to get connected through LinkedIn in order to advance in career.
It is like the business version of facebook and an online CV for business recruiters and headhunters.
It may impact on the global labour shift and business climate if labour can be sourced differently focusing on the expertise.

LinkedIn CEO: We're adding a new user every second

By Julianne Pepitone, staff reporterNovember 18, 2010: 1:41 PM ET

SAN FRANCISCO (CNNMoney.com) -- LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner spilled some new statistics Wednesday highlighting the business networking site's rapid global growth.

LinkedIn is adding one new user per second, Weiner said, and about half of all new accounts are created overseas. China and Brazil are the fastest growing regions. The site now has 85 million users -- and the latest 1 million signed up within the last nine days.

"On our site it's not about passing the time, it's about saving time," Weiner said at the Web 2.0 Summitin San Francisco. "So we're not looking at the time spent on the site. We have a pretty traditional way of measuring [user engagement]."

That approach to building and serving a member base is very different from Facebook's, conference moderator John Battelle pointed out. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg boasted Tuesday that half of all Facebook users visit the site every day.

"People tend to lump us in with Facebook and Twitter," Weiner replied. "But we're three very different things. Facebook is massive in scale and scope. Twitter is a public communication forum, but if I'm following you, you're not necessarily following me. LinkedIn is, simply, a professional network."

While Facebook users may "friend" people they barely know, and Twitter users can follow celebrities they've never met, LinkedIn pushes people to connect only with people they know well. Those social connections typically track one of three close relationships, Weiner said: personal, family and professional.

"The difference between social sites and business networking can be said in two words: keg stands," Weiner said.

"Or it could be bong hits!" Battelle replied. "Look at Michael Phelps."

"Well, I guess that's the difference between the East and West coasts," Weiner laughed.

Battelle continued to press Weiner for his thoughts on other companies, focusing on the Web search field. Weiner, who was once an executive at Yahoo, said simply: "I don't think the game is over, that it's [Bing] or Google and that's it."

Weiner admitted LinkedIn has lagged behind Facebook and Twitter, especially in building connections to external sites. For example, a Facebook user can "recommend" a CNNMoney article, and a Twitter user can tweet the article link to followers. LinkedIn has only recently begun cultivating such connections. (CNNMoney added a LinkedIn button to its stories last month.)

"We want to work wherever our users are, so we need to push out our connectivity," Weiner said. "We're investing in our APIs so we can get that service to our users. They want it."

Weiner also mentioned LinkedIn Signal, a product the company announced in late September that is still in beta but will go public in about a month. Signal adds Twitter-like capabilities to LinkedIn, letting users view and search status updates in real time.

Like most tech CEOs at the conference, Weiner stayed mum about thepossibility of an IPO: "You don't necessarily have to go public to get to the next level." 

Water Retention

Water retention is a condition in which the body retains water, causing swelling and tenderness, especially on the extremities and around theabdomen. You may also hear water retention referred to as bloating or edema, and it has a variety of causes, from the mundane to the serious. As a general rule of thumb, you should seek medical attention for water retention if it persists for over a week, or if you are extremely uncomfortable, and pregnant women should seek prompt attention if they experience excessive swelling in the legs and ankles.

There are a number of reasons why the body might start retaining water. Many women are familiar with the water retention associated with the menstrual cycle; this water retention is caused by the release of hormones which causes the kidneys to retain water, rather than flushing it out. Water retention can also be caused by medical problems with organs like the kidneys, heart, or liver, and it has been linked with thyroidproblems as well. Finally, the body will retain water if people eat a diet which is too high in salt.

Depending on the cause of the water retention, there are a number of potential treatments. At home, people should reduce their salt intake if they experience water retention, and they should eat bananas or other foods which are high in potassium. Diuretics like cranberry juice can help the body flush out its accumulation of water, and sometimes just drinking water will help, especially if the water retention is caused by consuming too much salt.

Water retention can be uncomfortable, especially in the legs. It is important to elevate limbs suffering from water retention, and to promote healthy circulation. Tight clothing and jewelry should be avoided during periods of water retention, and sometimes icing the area can help to bring down the swelling and discomfort. Some people find that exercise also helps, as it stimulates blood flow, encouraging the body to flush out the water being retained in the extremities.

Because water retention can sometimes be caused by a medical problem, there may be cases in which medical treatment is required, to deal with the root cause of the condition. If you are being treated for a medical condition which is linked with water retention, your doctor should talk with you about when to come in for a visit, and when you receive a new prescription for any condition, it can be a good idea to ask if the medication causes water retention. By being aware of potential causes for water retention in your body, you can be more sensitive to situations in which going to the doctor might be a good idea.

欢子-其实很寂寞

Fit my mood though.

Obama and social media

Barack Obama is a shrewd politician. At least that's the impression I get from his unique use of social media.
During his election campaign for the run of Presidency, he make full use of the social media by engaging the public through such media. He literally obliterates the boundaries between the public and private spheres as what Habermas has mentioned and uses it to his advantage as he brings the idea of Presidential candidate closer to everyone in the comforts of their house.
Now, when he seeks to get a re-election as the President, he actually make use of the social media again like FB to achieve his political will by garnering political support from his supporters. In this way, he is able to show in specific terms, how much support can he garner throughout his country. Though, it may not be in good in terms of accuracy, it certainly gives him a good gauge / feedback on the policies he might consider changing or his popularity indicator to see if he can continue with his political career.
Amazing isnt it?

Messi garner 6 million fans on FB

Imagine the imaginary lines of social distances and the physical obstacles of geographical boundaries all dissolved at once, what will happen to the relationship between celebrities and fans?
BOOM is the word.


Within seconds that Lionel Messi is alive on FB, his homepages was virtually flooded with requests to be added as friends.
No longer is the theory that distance is beautiful or celebrities are just imaginary idols who are far away, they are brought closer and personal by the social media. They are now larger than life which is the result of a "global village".
However, social media can be a medium that acts both ways.
When you are famous, it has a multiplier effects that increase your fame by n-amounts.
Likewise, if the celebrity did something wrong, within seconds the ardoration may become hatred and gets flamed for forever online with the same multiplier effects.
Scary isnt it?

欢子

Chance upon this singer. Love the music and the lyrics.

心痛

不该存有太旺盛的好奇心
知道的现实是残酷
真实得教人窒息
心象是被人用力的绞
忆起"步步惊心"的一段经典名句
"我们若有十分伤痛, 也必定要你们承受五分."

果然是应验了
虽然并没有逼他爱上我
但是我还是要负起责任
是自己给了他奢望
误导他走向不归路
而自己也惨遭焚毁




为什么我们会走到这一步
我不知道
只知道他拼命想将我从他的生命里推开

我应该成全他
放他自由的飞
从他的生命中消失
这样一来对我们都好
眼不看为净
心也能平静下来去想未来




现在的我们伤痕累累
之间的尴尬不断蔓延
相对无语互相猜测对方的心
继续互相伤害
我别再妄想我们能回到从前
因为
已经没有从前

苛求

明明知道要给对方空间疗伤

却还是不由自主地贪恋他的温柔

心中总有种茫然若失的感觉

是我太习惯依赖着他

还是他太痛所以抽离的很彻底

我知道不能太苛求他

我只想回到从前           拾起那美好的时光

对酌闲聊               畅所欲言知无不言而言而不尽然

但是从前是什么时候

是我们感情很好的时候           还是一方产生异样感觉之前

是我太自私一味的粉饰太平

像擦白板一样抹平水过无痕

蛮横地索讨他的付出

却吝啬的什么也不愿意给

我应该放他自由任他飞

不应该用友情束缚他的行动

鼓励他支持他祝福他才是我应该做的

毕竟是我亲手斩段我们之间可能发生的火苗

既然如此就应该坦然面对

两条生命的道路不可能再有所交际

只可能隔着一溪之水遥望两人奔向不同的目标

我不该苛求他回到从前

毕竟从前根本不知从何算起

早在我拍开他的手那一刹那

他要如何收回早已溢出的情感

希翼了那么久最终还是失望

受的伤痛不时我所能想象

我只愿他过的好  

我不想再苛求他什么

毕竟是我给了他错误的讯息

导致他会错了意

是我的天真无知害死了他也害死了自己

虽然知晓责怪自己是于事无补

但是忍不住要责罚自己的粗神经

强迫他回归自然谈何容易

自己都回不了神更何况是他

搞到我们两个人都尴尬不安

我不晓得该如何收拾这个残局

往前一步是死局       退后一步也是死棋

这个情况让我叹息无奈扼腕

看他那么神色自若若无其事

瞧不透他是没事还是勉强自己

总觉得对他有一丝愧疚

因为自己对他的苛求是过于残忍自私

自己心中就象有根刺

日日夜夜提醒自己有多么残忍愚蠢

若自己机警聪颖些

会不会让我们少受点伤少走些冤枉路

一切都太迟了我们都回不去了

谁说遗忘就能遗忘

我不该苛求自己不该苛求他

很痛苦的演出自己的戏分安抚对方

我们就随着缘分的指引往前迈进

且看时间是否能冲淡一切化虚为无

君在何处

眺望遥远的海岸线
骄阳缓缓落幕
余温熏醉了脸颊
烘托一片朱颜






疲惫的身心            
刻画着姐妹的喜悦
再忙再累                
只为博公主一笑
尽力杜绝后患        
只为能让那笑容再灿烂再持久
让照片定格保存着艳丽的新嫁娘

把玩细颈酒杯        
将橙黄玉露旋转
泡泡起伏不定         
亦如此刻的心情
轻啜着琼浆             
微甜辛辣的口感充塞其中
倾身楼台随风飞翔心情亦飘扬

不由自主忆起南柯一梦
大雾遮掩了你的容貌        
让我瞧不清
感觉却如此真实
你的温柔融于举手投足间着实醉人
有你的包容围绕着           
我绕不出你的五指山
你的细心如细绳               
层层叠叠
我甘心为你所缚

了解我的一颦一笑一蹙一扬
配合无间完成无数人前的折子戏
焦不离孟      
孟不离焦
缠缠叠叠萦萦绕绕痴痴恋恋心心念念
至死不渝

自始至终不是别人就是你
你却在我大半的生命里缺席了
寻寻觅觅         茫茫人海
你       究竟在何处
我       从来都没有将你看清
如何寻到你   知晓你就是良人
感觉可能有误
可不可以给我一点提示
哪怕是在梦里我也一定记牢
渴望见到你的心已消磨至尽
负之于行动希翼遇见你

你究竟在哪里
千山万水我也一定要找到你
撑不下孤单         
快要被害怕吞没
你还是音讯全无
不愿回首        
怕钩起他人伤心的回忆
招惹别人的深情
受尽折磨
只愿取那一瓢清流
 哪怕只守着空飘
也要等你来

折子戏-黄阅

你穿上凤冠霞衣
我将眉目掩去
大红的幔布扯开了一出折子戏
你演的不是自己
我却投入情绪
弦索胡琴不能免俗的是死别生离
折子戏不过是全剧的几分之一
通常不会上演开始和结局
正是多了一种残缺不全的魅力
才没有那么多含恨不如意
如果人人都是一出折子戏
把最璀璨的部分留在别人生命里
如果人间拭去脂粉的艳丽
还会不会有动情的演绎
如果人人都是一出折子戏
在剧中尽情释放自己的欢乐悲喜
如果人间失去多彩的面具
是不是也会有人去留恋 去惋惜
你脱下凤冠霞衣
我将油彩擦去
大红的幔布闭上了这出折子戏........

赠郎君

初次会面两相厌， 
合作之初厌更深。
虎迫二人共患难，
了解之余默契升。

次共赴历险记，
过关斩将成功至。
早已成患难之交，
相扶相持知甚详。





奈何郎意现行之，
怀柔呵护密密围。
妾懵郎意欲为何，
受之有愧无为报。




暧昧不明难分清，
缠缠绕绕欲窒息。
妾拒郎心黯萧然，
复为知己俩相安。

Love for son online

As we always knows that the love of parents is far greater than anything that one could ever imagine.
We always know that the chinese saying"父母恩大过天". Translated very literally, it means that the help that parents gave us is far more significant than what the gods gave us.
In this case set in the conservative Chinese society where the iron rule of one child policy prevails, it is understandable how badly the Chinese parents in China wants their child to succeed and they crave for a boy to carry on their lineage. However, they cannot stop what is going on in the minds of their children. They may be born in the wrong body.

Eversince in the past, Chinese parents cannot bear the idea of their son being unlike a normal male. According to novels and stories told, they will try all ways to correct them so that the children are like normal males.
These corrections include things like marry young, send them for male roughen up trainings and so on.
What can they hope to get out of it when it is torturing the mind of their own children?
One such mother cannot bear the thoughts of sending his son to such torturous places.
She supported him.
And tried to garner the support of others and educating them through the internet.
This is very brave of her in the conservative society and where internet is closely monitored.
This is a classic example of how a minority group can reach out to others and unite them for the common cause. It is ressuring to know that there are like-minded souls out there waiting for help and support. The Internet as a technology is able to do this and tries to solve an offline issue.
Very admirable to launder it out in the open.

Depression

When I was searching for my meaning in life, I was very depressed. At that point in time, I have no idea on what depression is all about. I was feeling rather low and I just wanted to hide and lie lower than before. If you have know me, you would probably know that I lie quite low and blend in the surrounding. How could such such a person like me who is always smiling and laughing, full of gaiety be so depressed?

Seriously, I do not know what is the meaning of life back then. I was desperately trying to anchor and set a direction for myself so that I can filter out what I want and what I dont want in my life. I do not want to be found floating around aimlessly because that unsettles me. When I was in my JC days, I was so involved in the activities of my CCA that whenever help is required, I will go thinking that all contributes to the same big goals and ideals. The goals and ideals were rather vague at that time but nonetheless I was so deep into the environment and the bonding that I think if someone else is steering the ship towards a direction, it must be for good and all I have to do is to follow. But at the end of the day, it is really about what I want to do in my life. It is all about ME and no one else. The group of people or CCA can have a goal of their own and I should only join them when my personal goals are aligned with their. Then that is a win-win situation.

I am in fact rather worried that I might be lulled into this false sense of goal seeking i.e. seek the goals on behalf of others that I forgo my own only to realise that I have missed my own ship when we parted ways.
I keep asking myself what are my strengths and weaknesses so that I can utilise my strengths to get to the peak performance where I want to be. I want to be at the top of the rest of people where my talents are fully recognise. But by identifying my strengths, I took about 4 years and that has not completely solved the mysterious and complex puzzle of me as a human being.

I was rather disappointed in fact. I really did not know myself well enough or rather I ditch the whole discovery about myself in the past and just try to reinvent the wheel again.

That's where I fell into depression because nothing works for me and I am drowning the the ocean of nothingness.
I would withdraw from the crowd, away from my friends and family. I would allocate time for them and wayang to show that I am alright which in fact I am not.
I would go on streets, shopping aimlessly.
At the end of the day, I would still ask what I want in life.
The answer would still be nothing.
I thought if I just like there dead, maybe I would not have to think so hard, struggle so hard to make it right for myself.
I actually went thru the ways of dying.
Cut wrist - too painful
Gas myself - geez ugly
Jump mrt / building - worse
drink poison - even more uglier

Then I stopped myself. Actually, finding a perfect way to die is much harder than finding my own goal. The struggle did not be so painful as long as I can account my actions to myself. I can convince myself this is the way to go and just jump on the ship without blinking.

Then at my lowest point in time, someone asked me, what is the route that most appealed to you now?

Is there any rationale why you would favour this route over the rest?

Are there more push factors than the pull factors?

The route that most appealed to me was to go back to school to study. To relive the wonders of studying and to regain the happy moments of my life. The rationale is that I wanted it for my personal developement and a sense of achievement and at the same time I want to use it as a footstep to advance in my career. Of course there are more push factors than pull factors as I have completely lose sense of the objective or rationale as to why I am still staying at the current environment I am in. I do not know why I am here but I know I dread coming to work as I often take taxis more than I take the bus.

But seriously, what am I supposed to do in the future? I do not know yet. I just want to move on and explore the comfort zone which I have always been in - teaching at tertiary level where I would not be so bogged down by admin matters.

How coincidentally, Stephanie Sun share this as well.

Games = Toys for next generation?

I used to remember I envy those kids whose parents are able to purchase an action figurine for them to play. I still remember the action figurines like Ninja turtles, Transformers, Power Rangers, etc.
Aww, I cannot express my delight when I was given a chance to fiddle with them.
They are so real and so entertaining as they are foldable at the joints and can be transform into another items. It was as if it was exclusively made for kids and we appreciate the efforts.
However, some kids cannot resist and try to sample the figurines resulting in some asphyxiation.
Nowadays, the toys for the new generations have changed drastically. In order to change the idea of holding something physical and die an unjust death due to the swallowing of certain parts, the game companies took everything online. They produce games online for kids to play and no longer do kids require individual imagination and expressions, they are given the subjective experience of other's imagination. No longer is it creativity in participation, they are now reduce to mere consumers of a certain products which is the result of an adult's imaginations.
An adult's imagination which has been watered down through the years of growth is totally incomparable to the children's.
What more, we are creating a generation of myopic children due to their long hours, eyes glueing to the screen.
How awful is that?
Of course, people will say that the current games are more educational as they teaches certain lessons and train their motor skills.
I feel balance is key. Anything good when given in heavy dosages will result in unwanted results.