君在何处

眺望遥远的海岸线
骄阳缓缓落幕
余温熏醉了脸颊
烘托一片朱颜






疲惫的身心            
刻画着姐妹的喜悦
再忙再累                
只为博公主一笑
尽力杜绝后患        
只为能让那笑容再灿烂再持久
让照片定格保存着艳丽的新嫁娘

把玩细颈酒杯        
将橙黄玉露旋转
泡泡起伏不定         
亦如此刻的心情
轻啜着琼浆             
微甜辛辣的口感充塞其中
倾身楼台随风飞翔心情亦飘扬

不由自主忆起南柯一梦
大雾遮掩了你的容貌        
让我瞧不清
感觉却如此真实
你的温柔融于举手投足间着实醉人
有你的包容围绕着           
我绕不出你的五指山
你的细心如细绳               
层层叠叠
我甘心为你所缚

了解我的一颦一笑一蹙一扬
配合无间完成无数人前的折子戏
焦不离孟      
孟不离焦
缠缠叠叠萦萦绕绕痴痴恋恋心心念念
至死不渝

自始至终不是别人就是你
你却在我大半的生命里缺席了
寻寻觅觅         茫茫人海
你       究竟在何处
我       从来都没有将你看清
如何寻到你   知晓你就是良人
感觉可能有误
可不可以给我一点提示
哪怕是在梦里我也一定记牢
渴望见到你的心已消磨至尽
负之于行动希翼遇见你

你究竟在哪里
千山万水我也一定要找到你
撑不下孤单         
快要被害怕吞没
你还是音讯全无
不愿回首        
怕钩起他人伤心的回忆
招惹别人的深情
受尽折磨
只愿取那一瓢清流
 哪怕只守着空飘
也要等你来

折子戏-黄阅

你穿上凤冠霞衣
我将眉目掩去
大红的幔布扯开了一出折子戏
你演的不是自己
我却投入情绪
弦索胡琴不能免俗的是死别生离
折子戏不过是全剧的几分之一
通常不会上演开始和结局
正是多了一种残缺不全的魅力
才没有那么多含恨不如意
如果人人都是一出折子戏
把最璀璨的部分留在别人生命里
如果人间拭去脂粉的艳丽
还会不会有动情的演绎
如果人人都是一出折子戏
在剧中尽情释放自己的欢乐悲喜
如果人间失去多彩的面具
是不是也会有人去留恋 去惋惜
你脱下凤冠霞衣
我将油彩擦去
大红的幔布闭上了这出折子戏........

赠郎君

初次会面两相厌， 
合作之初厌更深。
虎迫二人共患难，
了解之余默契升。

次共赴历险记，
过关斩将成功至。
早已成患难之交，
相扶相持知甚详。





奈何郎意现行之，
怀柔呵护密密围。
妾懵郎意欲为何，
受之有愧无为报。




暧昧不明难分清，
缠缠绕绕欲窒息。
妾拒郎心黯萧然，
复为知己俩相安。

Love for son online

As we always knows that the love of parents is far greater than anything that one could ever imagine.
We always know that the chinese saying"父母恩大过天". Translated very literally, it means that the help that parents gave us is far more significant than what the gods gave us.
In this case set in the conservative Chinese society where the iron rule of one child policy prevails, it is understandable how badly the Chinese parents in China wants their child to succeed and they crave for a boy to carry on their lineage. However, they cannot stop what is going on in the minds of their children. They may be born in the wrong body.

Eversince in the past, Chinese parents cannot bear the idea of their son being unlike a normal male. According to novels and stories told, they will try all ways to correct them so that the children are like normal males.
These corrections include things like marry young, send them for male roughen up trainings and so on.
What can they hope to get out of it when it is torturing the mind of their own children?
One such mother cannot bear the thoughts of sending his son to such torturous places.
She supported him.
And tried to garner the support of others and educating them through the internet.
This is very brave of her in the conservative society and where internet is closely monitored.
This is a classic example of how a minority group can reach out to others and unite them for the common cause. It is ressuring to know that there are like-minded souls out there waiting for help and support. The Internet as a technology is able to do this and tries to solve an offline issue.
Very admirable to launder it out in the open.

Depression

When I was searching for my meaning in life, I was very depressed. At that point in time, I have no idea on what depression is all about. I was feeling rather low and I just wanted to hide and lie lower than before. If you have know me, you would probably know that I lie quite low and blend in the surrounding. How could such such a person like me who is always smiling and laughing, full of gaiety be so depressed?

Seriously, I do not know what is the meaning of life back then. I was desperately trying to anchor and set a direction for myself so that I can filter out what I want and what I dont want in my life. I do not want to be found floating around aimlessly because that unsettles me. When I was in my JC days, I was so involved in the activities of my CCA that whenever help is required, I will go thinking that all contributes to the same big goals and ideals. The goals and ideals were rather vague at that time but nonetheless I was so deep into the environment and the bonding that I think if someone else is steering the ship towards a direction, it must be for good and all I have to do is to follow. But at the end of the day, it is really about what I want to do in my life. It is all about ME and no one else. The group of people or CCA can have a goal of their own and I should only join them when my personal goals are aligned with their. Then that is a win-win situation.

I am in fact rather worried that I might be lulled into this false sense of goal seeking i.e. seek the goals on behalf of others that I forgo my own only to realise that I have missed my own ship when we parted ways.
I keep asking myself what are my strengths and weaknesses so that I can utilise my strengths to get to the peak performance where I want to be. I want to be at the top of the rest of people where my talents are fully recognise. But by identifying my strengths, I took about 4 years and that has not completely solved the mysterious and complex puzzle of me as a human being.

I was rather disappointed in fact. I really did not know myself well enough or rather I ditch the whole discovery about myself in the past and just try to reinvent the wheel again.

That's where I fell into depression because nothing works for me and I am drowning the the ocean of nothingness.
I would withdraw from the crowd, away from my friends and family. I would allocate time for them and wayang to show that I am alright which in fact I am not.
I would go on streets, shopping aimlessly.
At the end of the day, I would still ask what I want in life.
The answer would still be nothing.
I thought if I just like there dead, maybe I would not have to think so hard, struggle so hard to make it right for myself.
I actually went thru the ways of dying.
Cut wrist - too painful
Gas myself - geez ugly
Jump mrt / building - worse
drink poison - even more uglier

Then I stopped myself. Actually, finding a perfect way to die is much harder than finding my own goal. The struggle did not be so painful as long as I can account my actions to myself. I can convince myself this is the way to go and just jump on the ship without blinking.

Then at my lowest point in time, someone asked me, what is the route that most appealed to you now?

Is there any rationale why you would favour this route over the rest?

Are there more push factors than the pull factors?

The route that most appealed to me was to go back to school to study. To relive the wonders of studying and to regain the happy moments of my life. The rationale is that I wanted it for my personal developement and a sense of achievement and at the same time I want to use it as a footstep to advance in my career. Of course there are more push factors than pull factors as I have completely lose sense of the objective or rationale as to why I am still staying at the current environment I am in. I do not know why I am here but I know I dread coming to work as I often take taxis more than I take the bus.

But seriously, what am I supposed to do in the future? I do not know yet. I just want to move on and explore the comfort zone which I have always been in - teaching at tertiary level where I would not be so bogged down by admin matters.

How coincidentally, Stephanie Sun share this as well.

Games = Toys for next generation?

I used to remember I envy those kids whose parents are able to purchase an action figurine for them to play. I still remember the action figurines like Ninja turtles, Transformers, Power Rangers, etc.
Aww, I cannot express my delight when I was given a chance to fiddle with them.
They are so real and so entertaining as they are foldable at the joints and can be transform into another items. It was as if it was exclusively made for kids and we appreciate the efforts.
However, some kids cannot resist and try to sample the figurines resulting in some asphyxiation.
Nowadays, the toys for the new generations have changed drastically. In order to change the idea of holding something physical and die an unjust death due to the swallowing of certain parts, the game companies took everything online. They produce games online for kids to play and no longer do kids require individual imagination and expressions, they are given the subjective experience of other's imagination. No longer is it creativity in participation, they are now reduce to mere consumers of a certain products which is the result of an adult's imaginations.
An adult's imagination which has been watered down through the years of growth is totally incomparable to the children's.
What more, we are creating a generation of myopic children due to their long hours, eyes glueing to the screen.
How awful is that?
Of course, people will say that the current games are more educational as they teaches certain lessons and train their motor skills.
I feel balance is key. Anything good when given in heavy dosages will result in unwanted results.

Engage your dreams

This comes in the right moment.

I was agonising over my career options. Why?

I hardly feel that I was challenged intellectually in my present work.
The truth is I learn as much as I can and try to adjust myself to working life.

But the thing is I feel very small and diminished in size whenever I am in this workplace. Dun ask me why?
I just feel I have dwarfed in size.
But conflictingly, I love the colleagues I had around here. They provide strong support for me and encourage me not to say "NEVER".
However, the note of inspiration just did not come to me.
I feel so tired after working here.
What do you think of your career?

Twitter to get job?

This is like a follow to the post on brand recognition except that it is not company brand but you as a brand.
To make yourself more headhuntable, post something professional and search for industry buzzword and attach it to your social media so that it will pop up in searches for recruiters.
It is a smart and affordable way to advertise oneself and the ability one possess.
It is afterall, a one is to many medium so be patient and post it early if you need to so that it is in time for your job transition.
Who knows the opportunity beckons at your doorstep very quickly?

Top 3 heavily censored countries

The results from this post is hardly surprising. The take from the government is that opening up the access to Internet is like opening up the Pandora's Box.

It would be the balance of the freedom of speech and peace and stability within the country that gives the most headache to governments. Thus to direct more resources to required areas, they decided to ban certain access.
The government is intelligent enough to use technology to curb technology, rather than ditching the entire technology away.

People's impression of me

Cyber sleuth

There are some skills that even the change in the medium and technology will not diminish its popularity. One of them is sleuth.
Police have long use Internet to prowl for potential crimes and suspects. It is little wonder that people hire sleuths to check out the competitors, husband, wife or even partners online. It is a trade that will never die with time as the people's need to know other's secrets remains constant.
But sleuths have to brush up on their skills to be competent in hacking, cracking, programming beside the usual skills required. But do not assume that the usual skills for sleuthing is outdated as pieces of information crucial to the online world can be found in order to carry out a deeper foray online.
It is scary isnt it to have everything merge together to form a data profile that can be more revealing than the profile that government sectors or police has of a person.

The question is how much is one willing to disclose online for the sake of convenience?

Lift ban = flourish of creative industries?

This article came as a bolt of inspiration to blog.

For as long as I could remember, media students have been debating how to make the creative industries in Singapore flourish,blossoming with its unique characteristics and qualities?

LIFT THE BAN

Wow! That is something that we dream but we dare not think it is possible.
The only limit now is the limitation of one's creativity and imagination, no longer has one need to go through another filter called "Government". That second filter poses as more obstruction since it was never easy to get pass the first filter.
What the government also worry is the opening up of the Pandora's box which could potentially undermine the very social fabric with which we are based on. Unlike S. Korea which is made up of 1 race only, we have a multiracial society.
It depends on how the government view this issue and how the citizens of Singapore feel about these issues.
 However, after so many years of nation-building, surely there must be some effective results culminated from all these efforts.

The question now is do we trust each other to maintain as we are now?
Or the opening up of media is indeed a Pandora's box?
For sure, we are more susceptible to foreign influence. Look at the stream of foreign media imports.
Arnt we tempted to build our own?

Sprained Ankle

Clumsy of me again, I had a fall in the office that resulted in a slightly sprained ankle.
But according to my doc, he said something about bruised ligament.
Ligament again. Haiz. I think the whole of my Right leg is gone.

Anyway, with my sprained ankle, I hobbled around in the office.
I managed to discover quite a few things about myself and others.

First, my work was uninterrupted by my boss. I was no longer at the beck and call of my boss and he just sends me the email to get things done which I find it more effective and efficient. The running up and down just wears me down and take away precious time that I had.

Second, I need to leverage on others to do work. I must get others to help me with the menial stuff like attend to customers, contractors, sign invoices, show customers around and to ferry them. The keyword or the frame of mind is What is it that others can do and i cant do if i am not physically mobile?

Third, the organisation of things. Given the mental framework is how to i carry things when i am not physically mobile?
I must merge and organise things such that i get max number of things done while moving around less.
I find that I am quite efficient if I hold that in mind.

Fascinating how a sprained ankle can lead me to so much things. Of course, I must thank those around me for their support and concern. Without that, I do not think it is possible. Of course the side effect might be i am too lazy to move around. Lol..Who knows?