Thursday, June 23, 2011

真的觉得自己有时候挺可悲的。
明明心底有一种替别人做嫁衣、稳输不赢、输多赔少的感觉,但是还是傻傻的欺骗自己说是为自己好,认识更多事物,是一件不错的事情。这是优势。
但是是我高估了自己,才会造成今天的局面。如果听从心底的那把声音,今天大概会不同吧。
毕竟读文科考秀才的,怎么可能突然放手一搏去考武科呢?
怎么看都是输局已定。

就是喜欢为难自己,帮着别人欺负自己。
多可笑啊!我的职业生涯竟然是四个各怀心思,各有目的利益的家伙给决定的。我很怀疑他们到底了解我多少。
这样说吧,让我为他们的心打打脉吧。
A会说:“这是个绝佳的办法。既然她在这个环境怎么久了,多少也了解一些。不必花时间精力去找别人培训人。况且别人不一定会放人,而短时间也找不到人。再加上会有人教她的,毕竟我刚上任就有人离职,很难看。是个听话的。”
B会说:“把她弄出去也好,省得她处处挡我的路。”
C会说:“推给她吧。我可不愿。给她好,毕竟她年轻,正好体她的将来铺路,让她升职。对她对我都是好事。那个职位是个肥缺,只需要服从规则即可。”
D会说:“好吧!是一个让A相信我的机会。看吧,她一定会走的。”



我很有自知之明。好康的事从来都轮不到我,会轮到我,肯定是人家不要的赝品。
其实那些并非自己挣来的东西,我其实很不屑受之。

正确来说,既然放我在这个位子,就必须负责培训我。可是直到现在,我不觉得我了解我的职位的范畴,职权,权限等等。试问要如何令年长者服从小丫头的命令。要那种事需要强而有力的靠山。他根本就不是我的靠山。更别提管理方面的提示了。就连公司的发展消息,我们部门的发展更新蓝图都不让我知道,请问我是属于那个等级的员工?
更别说,招募新人进我的部门,面试他人的主考官竟然没带上我。我要学什么?
要我去阿谀奉承、与他们虚与委蛇,只为了博他们的好感?有这个必要吗?既然要我工作就必须给于我一定的条件和资源,不然巧妇难为无米之炊的道理,虚长我数十载的大人们不懂吗?
我是只身作战,还被别人笑作决策时慢吞吞。试问如果你是我,你会不会步步为营,毕竟责任重大,稍有差池,别人可是会鸡毛当令箭,杀鸡儆猴。到时候,我是因无知而死,是不会有人替我收尸的。
更别提当我进谏言时,明明我说的就有理,他还是否决我,对我的态度像对小孩一样。试问一个下属一直遭上司的撇开,否决,功劳被抹杀,工作成理所当然,那个下属的感觉如何?
你以为这个职位不需要专业知识?错了,计划实行不是专业知识吗?基金调动,基金管理,物流运输,行政管理不是专业知识吗?如果不是,为什么会有人专门教这个?

我唯一学到的是在职场,千万别当好心人。通常是过劳死的,要不就是冤死。不要再轻易相信别人了。别人的解药,就是我的毒药。我的辛苦、痛苦、付出,成了理所当然,被别人漠视。这么多事去解救别人做什么?苦了自己,何苦来哉?到头还是替别人数钞票,自己有什么好处?不就是,说一句看你能干,继续把自己的工作丢给你,还被人笑说看不开,不会往另一个角度想。我不想自欺,太苦涩了。我的性格都变得扭曲得连我自己都快要不认识了。每天只羊郁郁寡欢,不郁郁而终,有谁信?



Monday, June 20, 2011

fashion sense

I think I would die if someone says the following to me. Haiz..Hopefully not..


    他没立刻回答,巨细靡遗地打量她,然后撂话。“你身上这件衣服,换掉!”

  “为什么?”她被他看得很困窘。他八成是嫌弃她的穿着很没品味吧。

  “我不觉得我穿这样有什么不对……”

  “是吗?随便你。”

  他太轻易让步,她并不安心,反而更想解释。“我觉得一个人的工作能力不是看外表。”

  “那只是因为你对自己的身材跟品味没信心。”他不以为然地冷哼。

  她愣住,粉颊难堪地微烧。

  “你不肯用心打扮自己,不是因为有自信,是因为太自卑。”他继续不客气地发炮重击。

Monday, June 13, 2011

 赠汪伦 - 李白

 李白乘舟将欲行,忽闻岸上踏歌声.

桃花潭水深千尺,不及汪伦送我情.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Being alone and loneliness

Loneliness is not something that everyone can handle.
For some
It takes courage
It takes strong willpower
For some
It is as easy as daily routine

It is all about mindset.
Being alone may not be a bad thing.
At least after a long period of interaction with others
there is a time to rest, recharge, refresh and reflect
Not to admonish oneself
stone oneself
To get acquainted with oneself
explore own personality and being aware of own emotions

OF course being alone is bad when one is a hermit.
It is an acquired taste.
yeah
Loneliness has a taste

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

别离情

所谓天下没有不散的宴席
千里一叙终须离别
心中不舍可想而知
回忆过去种种
仿佛昨日
各为其主势不两立
争锋相对乃平常事
以为此生就是如此

怎知迫于无奈须合作
方知彼此实属同类人
终产生相知相惜之感
往后更是合作无间
和睦相处生活如意
实为一种奇妙之缘分

交际的两条线终究还是得分离
没有两人的命运是相同的
别离之日渐渐近了
替补之人也已现身
不舍伴着酸涩的味道
喜忧参半
希望尔成功
又希翼尔别弃吾离去
别离之日渐近
苦涩之情越浓

日夜想着念着系着
酸酸甜甜苦苦涩涩
盈满胸膛
回首自身
他人迹已远
吾怎能原地踏步
必励己向上
脱离低靡之地
冲向九重云

Saturday, June 04, 2011

bond between siblings

One day while I was on my way to work, out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a pair of figures moving steadily towards my direction. It is really early in the morning and the height of the figures is not what I have expected at that hour.
I took a second look, another look and another look.
It was a pair of sisters, holding hands, walking towards me.
Both of them are in uniforms.
The older sister who wore a primary school uniform, was probably in Primary 2.
The younger sister who was skipping her way to school, was probably in nursery.
Upon seeing them, I wondered where are their parents? How come they are so comfortable letting the two young girls to fend for themselves and go to school on their own.
I searched around. There was no adult figure around them.
I was a bit worried.
What kind of parents allow children of this age roam to school on their own?
By the way, at around 720am in the morning, the elder sister was probably late for school.
I keep observing them, trailing behind.
Then I began to see why the parents did not follow.
The elder sister was very responsible.
When her younger sister was going to let go of her hands while skipping her way, she restrained her and stop her from skipping.
The little girl, all cutesy looking, obeyed her sister and started to walk.
The little backpack she was carrying, was swinging in a regular rhythmn, left right, left right....
Very cute looking.
The sister looked out for incoming cars and led the both of them to the other side of school.
I could feel the deep bonding between the two of them.
The kind of bonding I longed when I was younger.
When I heard that mum was expecting, I was telling myself, I wanted to take care of my younger siblings in the same manner as the elder sister.
 Shield them, protect them.
Didnt come out the same way as expected.
But I felt strongly for that kind of bonding.
Afterall, how many siblings can you have in a lifetime?