Subconscious vs Unconscious

A friend of mine not too long ago ask me what is Subconscious and what is Unconscious.
Is there any difference between the two.
I got curious and did a quick research.
According to Oxford Dictionary online version,
Subconscious is of or concerning the part of mind of which one is not fully aware but which influence one's behaviour and actions.

Unconscious is not awake and aware and responding to the environment.

Not fully convinced on the diffrences, I translate it to chinese.
Subconscious is 潜意识in chinese. It means that it is hidden under the consciousness. I believe it is something formed out of habits, something that is familiar which one can close the eyes and do it without any effort.
Unconscious is下意识 in chinese. It means it is below consciousness. I believe it is more like it is instinctive and situational. We go by reflex.
What do you think?

Inception

A movie that delves into the subconscious level of human beings. Something that everyone is so sensitive about and there is an air of mysticism around it.
After watching the movie, there is only 1 word to describe.

"OVERWHELMING"

Why? It is like kongfu movie, psychology and conman job all roll into 1 rojak.
Instead of intriguing my minds on how they go into the subconscious, they replace all by drugs, sedatives and a certain gadget that puts people down.
It is in fact more like a maze. Endless routes and options. A con job within a con job within a con job...
Like when you put the mirrors facing each other creating endless images..
I like the script more than the images.
The most famous movie quote is this. More like a hypnotic sentence.

What's the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human ...

The seed that we planted in this man's mind may change everything.

 Another one is

Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.

Another NLP-like sentence is

You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

Another interesting one is

If you can steal an idea, why can't you plant one there instead?

The endless possibilities is

The dreamer can always remember the genesis of the idea. True inspiration is impossible to fake.

I feel shitty. Why?
I just lost my company access card.
I din even remember how I lost it, the lanyard still hanging around my neck. Geez..with the keys but the card with the plastic is gone.
Why like that?
Not that I am riding on the high. I think I feeling depressed so the low alert. I tried to be alert but there are so many things that need my attention and that I am really floored this time. Shame to the floor. And someone is going to sing victory song. I hate my enemy singing victory song. Wah lau...
Then my mum was angry with me. She is angry as she is concerned about my well-being. That I understand but I cannot handle more anger..cannot tolerate..geez..wat has the world come to?
I can only take it so much..

reactions n beliefs

Here is a story I have heard and I think it is worth sharing.

Last thursday, A had a minor argument with someone which left him feeling upset and angry. It sort of spoilt his entire day.
He was wondering why should he be so affected by the other person's opinions and language?
Naturally, I could not help him but just listen to him.

I din know the answer to his question until I started my weekend lessons.

The other person pressed A's hot button on his values and beliefs. Because a person's values and beliefs is so close to their heart, something that they hold it tight within themselves.
A becomes offended by the other person because it is something he holds it dearly in his heart. Honesty and integrity and impartiality. By saying he is not acting according to his values and beliefs, he is naturally upset and angry. He finds the accusation untrue and degrading.
Worse still, the other person went straight to A's boss to lodge a complaint. A felt even more angry. An wrongful accusation is not enough, now the other person wants to ruin the impression that A's boss has of A? Wah, another hot button.
A always tries to maintain his image and impression in front of everyone. Treat everyone with respect and care to the best of his abilities. Here is someone who brush away all his efforts and throw it right back at him, leaviing him hurt and offended.

What lessons can be drawn out from here?
1. Have trust in yourself. IF you do it right along with logical thinking and careful consideration, no matter what the other person say, you will be calm and controlled. Outsiders do have eyes to view for themselves and judge for themselves.

2. Respect everyone's values and beliefs. If the other person thought of A that way, all A have to do is to "PAUSE". Do self-reflection on themselves by viewing it from 3rd party's perspective using perceptual position. Dissociate yourself from your position and view the entire fight like a movie. Think if you have done wrong. Then step into the shoes of the accuser and see if there is anything wrong with A's behaviour. If you have done nothing wrong, then remain calm and peaceful. It is not A's issue. It is the other person's issue.

Having a peace of mind, respect others is important. There is no FAILURE only FEEDBACK.

        

Definition of success

Success is a very vague term.

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of Success is defined as follows:

"–noun



1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.


2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

3. a successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.


4. a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.


5. Obsolete . outcome. "
 
Is this the way to define Success?
According to the NLP terms, success is a nominal word.
It is too chunked up and confusing. 
It is also a subjective definition that varies with individuals.
On the general, it can be divided into 2 types, temporal and lasting.

Temporal success means things like money, status, appointment, etc.
It is fleeting and will go away as time passed by. For instance, a few years ago, you can be successful financially as u have millions of dollars and so on. But once the economic crisis sets in or any wrong move in investment, your money has shrunk over time.
You can be a CEO in 1 second, peak of a person's career but over time due to illness, company not performing well, etc, you can not hold the appointment of CEO anymore.
There seems to be like a pareto optimality theory behind it in the sense that only 1 person can succeed and be at that position at 1 time.

On the other hand, lasting success means things that only you know.
It is like some kind of personal achievement that spawned a new change in you or others. For instance like personal goals of doing voluntary work, helping others in need, create a change in outlook, etc. This is more evident in those who have suffered a personal crisis like cancer remission patients or bankrupt people.
Of course, one need not go through the extreme extent to reach this personal achievement. By heightening awareness and observe the surrounding, one can go through all these changes. You can embrace the qualities that you wish to uphold and move towards your dream or goal.By changing yourself, you not only shape your future but you also influence others as everyone is connected.

On a social level, Singapore seems to have 1 measure of success in general. Every few years on the newspapers, there is an article on the 5Cs or even 6Cs.Condos, cars, cash, casinos....
It seems so superficial and temporal according to the theory.

To me, success is not so specific.
 It emcompass BOTH.
For someone who step into the society not too long ago, both physical and mental success are important. Not that we are so $$ focused, but we live in a world connected to others. We cannot help but influence by them as well. IF that is the standard that they are measuring themselves up there, it is what they are going to reach out. By that, one cannot help but to reach a certain level up in the $$ as well. Otherwise we would not be able to survive. Likewise, when we achieve mental success, there wil be a part of it that constitutes to a physical success as well.
I just hope with careful considerations and planning, I will achieve both in the future.
Not just by saying but also physical doing it as well.


Every beginning has an end and every end has a new beginning.

So what is your definition of success? Have you thought about it?

"Fight the battle of life, failure shot me but success will heal the wound."

"Fight the battle of life, failure shot me but success will heal the wound."


This is the quote I lifted from one of the many webpages that I have came across.
Day after day, we have to fight battles, be it big or small, nitty gritty or overwhelming issue, we have no time to take a deep breathe, freeze it and relax. We have to face it, confront it and work with it,whether we like it or not.

Things are just not moving in your favour. There are detestful persons that you have to deal with, who hound you everyday on a certain non-consequential issue that you feel is outside of your scope for the moment.
They cannot understand the meaning of NO in a subtle ways.

Then there are detestful persons who will try to squash your dreams by saying NO to what you are thinking. Why would they say that? Because you are toying with the idea of using the Resources that they are eyeing for. Your Resources.

Then comes the intricate yet complicated issues known as human relationships and work dynamics. Who is in your web and who is not. How that this impact on that? How to approach someone who is too sensitive? How to twist it so that it works in your favour? How come people's problem becomes your problem when you got no time to solve your own problems?

I am not god, never say I was.
Why cant I get a simpler environment?
Too tired to think.
To even dream.
My dream.
Why?
Coz I was caught up in the web.
How to get out of the web and extricate myself from there?
Success?
Where are you?
Can you tell me if I have detour, away from you?

Self-limitation

Everyone loves a mystery or a game. At some point in time, people cannot resist but to play games. They not only play games with others, on others but also onto themselves.
What kind of games can they possibly play with themselves?
They play inner self-games but discrediting themselves.In other words, SELF-Sabotage.

Are these kind of inner games really neccessary?
Do we really need them in our lives?
Is this what we really really wants?

We will mention self-sabotage when we talk about a certain outcome setting.
It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy because what we focus our energy on, that thing with the energy as the nutrients will expand and grow.
For instance, when we say I dont want to cheat myself.
You will probably end up cheating yourself as the brain as certain deletion function that erase out the word "Don't" and focuse on the act of cheating


It is actually our superimposed fear and wild imagination that trigger this self-sabotage.
So in order to get yourself back on the right track, you probably need to ask yourself the following questions:

a) Where are you right now with respect to your goal set?

b) What is it that you are enjoying RIGHT NOW that is keeping you from your goal?

c) What is it that you have to give up with respect to your goals?

d) What will happen if you do not have what you enjoy now?



The idea of change will only come when there is no longer this self-sabotaging occuring.
Have the Resources to aid the changing and shifting does not means there is a willingness to achieve the goal.

The question to ask is now "How do you catch your "self-limitation" which is self-imposed?

Area of discomfort

Attending this Master Practitioner for NLP, makes me more aware of myself and my feelings.
IT actually makes me redefine a lot of things. Out of which is "DISCOMFORT".
To be frank, for things that matters to me, I love to control it.
 It is a comfort zone which I feel I can do my learning, feeling safe and secure in a controlled environment.
However, since coming to this course, I was being reframed.

To quote someone, "Great learning comes when you experience great discomfort".
When you are feeling uncomfortable, you should congratulate yourself because your level of knowledge is going to increase. At first I was like, are you sure coz I cant even get used to the feeling of discomfort. I often build a fence around me so that I can learn peacefully on my own. Turn out by experiencing discomfort, I am forced by myself to be mroe aware of certain things. Things I have not noticed before. It opens up a whole new path or facet of myself which I have not known of. Absolutely amazing. I searched around the net and found this very interesting article to share with you.

Lessons in Discomfort
“In many instances, the likelihood of an individual succeeding (no matter what the goal) will be dependant on how uncomfortable that person is prepared to get and for how long.” C.A.H.

The Application of the Information
This morning I coached someone who asked me to expand on the ‘growth comes through discomfort’ theory. It’s something I’m always teaching and it’s a concept my client was having trouble getting her head around – from a practical application point of view. As the concept is relevant to most of us, I thought I would expand on it a little today.
What’s Growth?

In the context of this discussion, growth could mean a range of things: learning, improvement, adaptation, skill development, greater insight, better understanding, less fear, more confidence, greater productivity, less anxiety, more patience, fewer destructive habits and even something as practical and measurable as greater physical strength and improved health.

For an athlete, growth might mean more points per game, a higher vertical leap or a faster time. For a shop-aholic it might mean eliminating debt and changing spending habits. For the person with a social phobia, it might mean looking someone in the eye and initiating a conversation. And, for the chronic people-pleaser it could mean saying ‘no’ to somebody, taking a stand and not backing down. In simple terms, growth means creating positive change in some area of our (personal) world.

What’s Discomfort?
Discomfort, on the other hand, could be anything that (in a general sense) we’d rather avoid. It could present itself in the form of a work problem, a financial situation, a conversation we’re always deferring, a fitness challenge, a health issue, a habit we need to break, a fear we need to confront, a relationship we need to end, a dynamic we need to change or even (as many people have experienced) an unexpected illness. It could arrive in the form of an emotional, physical, psychological, sociological, financial or professional challenge. Or, a combination thereof.
Individually Uncomfortable
The interesting thing about the discomfort/growth paradigm is that it’s completely personal in terms of how and when it works and what it means to us. By that, I mean one person’s discomfort (and, therefore, opportunity to grow) will be another person’s minor event. There is no universally relevant discomfort scale because we all think, feel, experience and react differently. A scale like P.R.E. (a widely-used scale which gauges an individual’s Perceived Rate of Exertion while completing a physical task) tells us that comfort or discomfort, hard or easy is all about the individual. Which tells us that learning, adaptation, change and improvement are also about the individual.
Standing on a stage and talking is simply part of my job. For me, that task is about as stressful as driving a cab might be for a cabbie. That is, not very. For someone else, it might be an exercise in anxiety or maybe even terror. And, at the same time, a major opportunity for growth. Knowing that things only have the meaning we give them, we can safely assume that there is no single experience, process or situation that will produce consistent or equal results in terms of positive or negative change across the board.

Naturally, not all discomfort serves a positive purpose (standing in front of a moving bus for example) and, of course, we need to be wise and discerning about how, when and why we ‘get uncomfortable’. Having said that, it’s important that we find the awareness, courage and understanding that allow us to see problems, hurdles, barriers and catastrophes for what they really are: opportunities to grow and learn.

Is it time for you to address that thing you’ve been avoiding?
Don’t get mad at me – you keep putting it off. I’m just reminding you.

(Taken from http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/lessons-in-discomfort.html)
 


However, I always know deep in my heart, I always find the idea or feeling od discomfort, familiar yet alien coz I have not touch base with it for a long period. Why?
I haven been forcing myself to step out of comfort zone and try something new and unknown.

Now, I wonder, how to keep that feeling / familiarity with discomfort sustainable?

Successful ending

I just finished one event of mine, lasted 2 weeks. My Colleague aka Tony B complimented on my success at coordinating an event from commencement to finale. I acknowledged myself for doing the best I could for the best of my ability.
Nonetheless, I have to improve on other areas.

Human Interaction
I still feel a lack of warmth or intimacy with other people especially strangers. I still hold back a little. May be I am introverted, maybe i am closet-intimate, maybe my communication skills or social skills need to be brushed up. I still feel awkward around people.

Hospitality management
Maybe I shd take a course on this. I feel so awkward..but it is part of the job...

Technological support
I thought since this is my field of expertise, I should be able to provide the best support but Murphy seems to have his way. I am totally lost. Geez...Maybe should attend some computer workshops. Ahh...considerations for next year.

Interior Design
I must learn this. Very important. I got a lot of ideas and my ideal house depends on this.

Protocol
Seriously not sure how to do it. Must find a manual or something to read up.

Timing
Seriously off. I feel I am slower at doing things and anticipate things. I am doing fire fighting most of the time. Tiring.

Yup, that's about it. I guess. I did a good job and could have do it better, Ganbatte,

Event mgt

Aww mah, it was not easy job. In order to be a good events coordinator, one has to be big picture person at first. When u goin to do this and by when is the deadline.
Then on the actual day, one has to be detailed person. Assume the persona. Attend to the details. Which is nicer, colour affect? Music affects? Food involved, arrangement alright?Your people working fine?Your boss okie?
That's how i went through. Thoroughly drained becoz i being not a thorough person has to do all these. Bosses will open their eyes big big to see ur performance.
I must say, in the past, i will panick.
With NLP, i tell myself, in order for me to be successful, i must assume the role of a hostess and events coordinator. Then i visualise what kind of physiology that a successful events coordinator must have, the state to be in and the energy level to have
Tell you, it takes a few seconds but definitely worth the effort even though i am tempted to skip it.
My kind friend Tony B has kindly reminded me to be calm and confident. Geez..I shall remember, BE PRESENT, forget about tml or the next day, FOCUSED.
Thanks to him for making me laugh..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ........................

According to a recent study by the American clinical society on the issue of SLEEP, it was reported that people generally suffered from major illness if they did not get 7hrs of sleep per day. I was thinking is there a need to do so since from young, we were told that the body will regenerate and reccuperate during the nighttime. If we know this, we would know that by depriving ourselves of sleep, our cells do not get repaired and thereby turn into cancerous cells.
So why is there a need for reminder?
All because we are in the age of Information Technology where the Internet rules our lives.
Information overload is a common issue and the way to solve it is to spend longer time on the Internet thereby sacrificing our sleep.
And we do not get good quality sleep because we are disturb by the electromagnetic wave of the computer and our minds are in the hyper state instead of winding down..
So unless with good discipline and time mgt, it is hard to sleep early. At least for me..